Is it normal to ignore your wife completely

Ok. So my husband and I have known each other for 17 years, together for 11, married for 5. He does not do anything for my birthday, anniversary, valentines, mothers day. We spend no time together with the kids, except for once this summer when we went shooting bb guns with my son. No time with my daughter at all. I am the one that spends all the time with them. He does not sleep in the same bed, nor the same room with me. He has a setup in the basement with a tv, mini fridge and recliner that he sleeps in due to back problems. The basement isn't finished. When I want him, I have to go to him. He never comes to me for attention. Ever. Sex is the only thing we have and it's really good, but that's all. He wants to have a threescore with my friend and is getting annoying about it. I'm ok with it, but the time has to be right and the setting. Like no kids that day, which is hard. He has stolen money from me in the past for drugs up until last year. I thought he just had a problem and would stop. He has stopped now, but he's not the person I used to know. He never cooks. Never shops. I do all the finances. He was fired for calling off, I got him his job back, he still calls off. And I love this guy because of who I remember him to be, who I can see still there sometimes. He refuses to get help for depression. God help me.