Is it normal to hold my mom responsible for my nature as a person?

Ever since I was little, my mom deprived me emotionally, physically, and mentally. I grew up poor, and my mom sucked the life out of me. She would barely spend any money on me, and she would use that money to buy herself whatever she wanted.

I would get teased at school because my mom forced me to wear clothes that didn't fit properly, and she would always send me to school with toddler lunchboxes and accessories, and I would get made fun of for that as well.

My mom basically raised me in a very deprived fashion. My mom would show me the smallest amount of effort to do anything for me. She would accept clothing donations, and give me those worn out clothes. My mom also never took me anywhere either, so I had almost no friends. I had little to no contact with people, I had to eat the same foods for weeks at a time, had to wear the same clothes for years even though they don't fit, and etc.

My mom, even to this day, is a very stingy and cheap person, although she became less and less stingy over the years.

I'm 21 today, and becoming 22 in less then 2 months. Even though I'm completely responsible for my own needs now, I can't help but hold my mom responsible for the way that I am today. I still lack alot of self-confidence as a person, and I still have other issues as well. Can I rightfully hold my mom responsible for the way I am today, and is it normal to feel like this?

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 38 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dappled

    I think anyone who has problems naturally looks around for someone to blame. You can finger point all you want (and you may be right), but you'll still have problems.

    The absolute best use you could make of your time now is to work out how to be happier both right now and in the future. May not be easy but you're the adult now. You're calling the shots in your own life. Make the right decision. And good luck.

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  • Ainck20

    Yes u can ! But she'll always be ur mum, u just have to accept that's who she is and thats what she's like.

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  • puppy-ray

    All I can say is cut your mother off, and never speak to her again, she obviously didn't want you.

    If you already did that, then go on with your life, and make the most of what you have now.

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  • It's normal to look for a scape goat but truthfully everyone in this life has the same chance at greatness.

    My own mother cared nothing for me and my father liked to drag me around by my neck yet none of it are ever kept me down.

    I am the man I am today despite their best efforts. I am immovable. Learn to be the same or this life will eat you alive.

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  • howaminotmyself

    So why are you still letting her take your power?

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  • CountryRoads

    Got to let it go at some point. I don't know when it is exactly- but there's a changeover that takes place when you become an adult that makes you responsible for your own actions/person/behavior

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  • Buy her an expensive gift, and see how she reacts.

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  • Some people cant keep their mentality in check so i guess it is her fault.

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  • aussiewolf

    if you dont like who you are, then change. you cant blame your mother for you being lazy.

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