Is it normal to hide my sexuality

81% Normal
8 Comments

Ok so I'm a 22(almost 23) year old woman who, after years of lying to myself, has realized that I'm gay. When it hit me it was the only thing that made sense.
I said to myself "No shit! You've been looking at girls around you since you were 12. You could never orgasm with a boy unless you pretended he was a girl, and all the porn you looked at were racey images and videos of women!"
I mean I can not believe it took me so long To figure out I was gay. No matter how attractive a guy was I wasn't turned on by him. I always went after the soft feminine boys, the young looking overly boyish(not manly, but BOYISH) boys who kept his face hairless. I had understood that on a subconscious level, or maybe even a conscious one, I had actively seeked out the boys who had particularly feminine features. Perhaps I tried to supress my erotic thoughts about women as a coping mechanism. Maybe subconsciously I tried to date the girly men so I could, in my mind, settle for "second best". Like the next best thing to a woman.
I remember when all my friends were checking out some "sexy" ripped guys and talking about how hot he was, I would lie "oh totally. Oh my God he is sooo fine!"
I even went the extra mile and "liked" thunder from down under on Facebook!...
When in reality those ripped abs and veiny arms didn't do crap for me. That long sexy beard just made me wonder if it irritated his neck. I've always been unbelievably picky about men and well now its obvious why. Yet... The vast majority of my female friends think I love men. Part of me wants to hide my sexuality because I don't want to lose my friends and another part because its nobody's business... But what if I fall in love in the future and want to tell my friends about it? All these years I've known most of them I did the stereotypical gay thing by gushing over how hot the opposite sex was to compensate... And now I don't want to lose some of the people I love. I don't want to live in the dark. Or, "in the closet" so to speak

Voting Results
81% Normal
Based on 52 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • I_Hate_My_Life123
    8 years ago

    Don't hide who you are. If your friends care about you, then they'll accept you. Good luck.

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    • Short4Words
      8 years ago

      This. OP, if the people you love don't accept you for who you are, they don't love you.

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  • LittleGirlInexorablySodomized
    8 years ago

    It's completely nornal to hide your sexuality. SODOMITES have been disliked by society for the longest time it's even recorded in the Bible.

    Back in the day they use to pile FAGGOTS on top of fire and burn their corpses like they did in nazi Germany with POWs, once enough heat generated you can throw FAGGOT upon FAGGOT without any other source of fuel and the fire would keep blazing. That's where we get the word FAGGOT from.

    Oh yes, perfectly normal to hide your sexuality.

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  • fugazi
    8 years ago

    Instead of hiding it, you could just refrain from having sexual activity with people of the same gender as yourself.

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  • Les-is-more
    8 years ago

    I think you should go up to your best friend out of all of them, and talk about old times. Then, make her promise to be understanding. Then, tell her. It's fine, and if she reacts well, then you can either tell your other friends, or wait, or even jut don't tell them

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    It is normal sadly, but hiding it isn't the best choice.

    Just tell your friends. They're be surprised, and probably ask you a shit ton of questions out of curiosity and wonder if you've been checking them out, but other than that if they care about you they will stay your friend.

    If they do accept you, then be prepared to have awkward, yet funny conversations too.

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  • IWillGiveYouMyAll
    8 years ago

    Unfortunately yes it is normal to hide your sexuality. People have fears of the stigma that comes with you being homosexual.
    Plus your front that you've been showing your friends would only make it a bit more awkward, they could take it the wrong way and see it as you were lying to them.
    Then again! They could be understanding like friends should be :) Many people hide their sexuality only to find that when they open up about it it makes their life better. They don't have to constantly be someone they're not, and that their family and friends support who they are.
    It's up to you in the end, good luck with whatever path you take!

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  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    something are best hidden

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