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I refuse to see my in-laws because they have treated me so badly. I don't see them at Xmas, weddings, never. My husband accepts it and thinks it's for the best.
Depends on their class usually.
Higher classes tend to expect their children to get the best of the best and as such view most of their child's partners as "not good enough", its a bad mentality to have. This usually result in some sort of "arranged meeting" or "arranged marriage" in western society. This applies to most if not all classes in a lot of eastern cultures.
Middle Classes tend to swing either way.
Lower classes tend to be genuinely happy with their child's partners in most cases, so long as their happy. They don't have a reputation to be sullied by a potentially bad in-law.
Worst case scenario, just always find something to talk to them about, although conversation is hard with in-laws. Even more so for men, cos at the end of the day, your slamming their daughter.
If you want, I could list conversation topics. But you should ask them about their hobbies & interests and build a rapport, just treat them like..."Very judgmental strangers"
To make friends with them and have better relationships, get to know them :D
It is normal, however, i'm not normal. I love my in-laws more than my own family. I respect them more, I want to hang out with them more, I'd rather spend holidays with them, etc.
I think it (=avoiding them) is the best thing you can do in cases like this.
It's your life and you have a right to pick and choose who you want to involve in it, especially if some of the people in it mistreat you. It's good that your husband is understanding.