Is it normal to have this type of bizarre concept of "beautiful"?

If it's not a problem now it will be. Get help.

I'm the opposite. I see beauty in everyone, Except myself. I used to strive for the skeletal look, but then I watched supersize vs superskinny and realised it was v unhealthy to be so thin so made an effort to stop being compulsive about food.
You sound on the verge of anorexia nervosa and maybe you should see a doctor. Good luck!
But try not to be too shallow to judge others looks, try to find one thing in everyone you see that's beautiful :)

It's a damn shame our culture has pushed women like you to extremes like that. My grandmother died from an eating disorder and it always fills me with this odd and intense mixture of emotions (bitterness, sadness and anger) whenever I hear about women who struggle to achieve an unrealistic standard of beauty that they have imposed upon themselves. Get help, because it's not normal and it can be deadly.

I can relate exactly to how you feel. I'm told the same things and don't really consider what I look like when alone, then I go out and it all goes to pot :/ so trust me, I know how you feel. I have a 'therapist' in the form of my course manager at uni, and we get together every week and talk about everything. Something that no one ever told me was that the reason you feel like this could also be down to something that seems completely unrelated. x

It's not healthy to care so much about looks to the point where you're trying to be skeleton-skinny. Try to change that you see it that way. You were conditioned to think that way- I'm not sure how, maybe you look at a lot of runway fashions and how thin the models are. Try to stop looking at whatever it is that made you see it that way. HEALTH is beautiful, and most people who are healthy are not that skinny. When you're anorexic you don't get the nutrition you need which cause lead to dry, yellowish skin and brittle nails; tooth decay and gum damage, like your teeth can fall OUT- and growth of fine hair all over the body and face. Does any of that sound worth it?

Anorexic much?

Don't be so driven by media standards. Those guidelines are inhuman and idiotic. Don't continue to be one of the social dominos.

I can look in the mirror at home and think : im ready for this date :D im looking good, and then when i am on the date when i see my reflection i think : well im not that good looking at all:( but well i live with it and you shouldnt get 2 thin .. Its not even hot or anything

Its so weird you asked this because I'm the same way, except for the being thin part. When I'm alone, I'm confident, but when I'm around people, im the complete opposite.

Why do you care so much about looks? Anyways, I don't think it is normal or healthy to practice "excessive dieting/fasting, cumpulsive excersize, and the use of pills to lower my weight".

There is nothing wrong with staying fit but this doesn't sound healthy. I think you're getting a little carried away.

Well normal to a point I suppose. I mean I wouldn't say it's healthy, but unfortunately I think a lot of girls think this way. I used to myself to that extreme (I still do a little bit) but i've found that the higher my self esteem & less my insecurity is, the less harsh my views of 'beautiful' are.

Its called being shallow. I hope you drown half way.

Honestly where I am from really thin girls aren't hot. You should try to weigh like 20 lbs over normal weight.

Are you from Los Angeles?