Is it normal to have this resentment towards someone who passed away?

77% Normal
6 Comments

I carry this resentment towards my brother who passed away a few years ago. When he was here, we did get along but we weren't the closest of siblings. He was actually closer to my other siblings. Idk why, idk what I ever did to him except exist, that made him ridicule me. So as I grew up, I obviously gained more feelings and whenever I would sense tension, Id get nasty and "rude" as they like to call me. What they dont understand is that I had that attitude because they caused it. Without being ridiculed, Id be nice to them. That goes for anyone in general. Im a nice person but once I sense you not liking me or being rude to me, my attitude comes out or I directly tell you to stop or something. But yeah so ever he passed, honestly people especially family consider me the "strongest" one cause I dont show emotion like the rest of my family and yeah I am pretty emotionally strong, but at the same time, I also don't have a lot of emotions about it. I am sad he's gone when I think of all of us as a family but then the truth and reality is I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Everytime he comes up, I am rolling my eyes inside because guess what? I didn't have the same connection as everyone else with him so can you blame me for not feeling that emotional about it? I just think its also unfair that people might think I am heartless about it but again, they dont know the story and if I tell them the story, I will be ridiculed again and itll defeat my purpose. Also, just cause I dont break down about being ridiculed that often, doesn't mean again I am heartless. I just dont let it bother me that way cause Im just tough skin like that which doesn't make me a bad person. So I just carry this resentment that I can't "pretend" to cry or be sad around occasions or moments surrounding his passing. Is this normal? common?

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 13 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • flyingnostalgia
    8 years ago

    I understand you, and i dont blame you. Go and be well.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thanks at least you understand. Only outsiders will not judge me for this. If I were to tell this to people who think they know me hence, "family" they will think Im just this heartless, bad person. I hate how family thinks they're entitled to knowing every angle of you.

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  • FrizzyHaired
    7 years ago

    I understand how you feel. Resentment for a dead person is normal, for a variety of reasons. Life's difficult, and eventually, you may stop having resentment toward your brother.

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  • HiAGAIN10
    8 years ago

    Sounds like an episode of some cool Anime. You sound heroic, bro. But yea, I get you. Still, maybe one day you'll make peace with the situation.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Kinda a waste of time and energy, don't you think?
    It's not like they're looking down on you from above going, "Oh dear me, what an asshole I was."
    They are gone, dead and rotted away.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Lol idk sometimes I think when something bad happens to me, it's like his spirit doing karma. Whether I lost a job, or tripped, I feel like its him. But yeah its not that its a waste of time, its kind of constant and I can't just cross it out cause it lives on in our house with my parents, siblings and everything. So everytime the subject of him comes up, I get that resentment.

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