Is it normal to have this bad of nightmares?

When I was 9, my sister (17 years old at the time) committed suicide. I went to see her at the funeral home a week or two later, and she looked awful. The tips of her nose, chin, fingers, eyelids... were blue. (she was never emalmed, she was creamated later.)There was a cut on her neck from whatever she hung herself with, and they tried covering it with this big puffy thing... but to me it looked really un natural and scary. And it was like her jaw fell open, and then they sewed her mouth shut or something. My mom said they didn't prepare her right, they should have put something under her chin so it would stay up before rigor mortis set in.

Anyway, my emotions were obviously mixed. It hurt so bad to see my big sister, my hero, my idol, dead. But it was so frightening to look at. I could hardly breath, my face turned white, my legs wouldn't move. Again, I was only a young kid.

To this day, I have the worst nightmares you could possibly imagine. Here are a few.

I dream that I am standing there looking at her again, and a preacher with no eyes forces me to stick my finger in her mouth. I rip the stitches on her lips open, but her top lip stays sewed to her bottom lip, and the skin between her upper lip and nose rips instead. I stick my finger in her mouth, and I feel her teeth, and then scream and wake up in a sweat.

I dream that she shows up at my house. I remember in my dream that she died, and I am happy she is alive again, but she still looks scary, like she did when she died. She forces me to give her a hug. But she smells, she is stiff, she is cold, and she tries to strangle me. Her fingers dig into my neck, and when I wake up, I feel like I can still feel them sometimes.

.. This is not made up. I think I might have PTSD, but I don't wanna be dramatic and say i have it. It seems fairly normal to fear dead things I guess, but I can't remember if my fear of dead things was this bad before she died. Does anyone think these dreams are normal?