Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts regularly?

57% Normal
2 Comments

Ever since I was about 9 (I'm 23 now) I've had suicidal thoughts. It's not an everyday thing. Some points in my life I have them more, some times I have them less. When I was 16 I attempted it, but survived. Just to clarify I didn't do it for attention or anything. I genuinely meant to succeed, it's honestly by chance that I actually survived. At the time I did it because I'd been depressed since I was 9. But since then I rarely think about suicide because of depression, although I admit it happens sometimes. Mostly its just that sometimes I lack any kind of desire to live. There are people I care about, and things that make me happy. But it hardly seems worth it considering how hard life can be. Not only that but I always feel so overwhelmed when I think about the state of the world and all the horrible things out there. Life just doesn't seem worth it when you think about it. I mean you live for maybe a hundred years, and then it's over. And most people spend most of their lives being miserable working jobs they don't really want, but it's all they can get it. They work to pay bills and survive. It just doesn't feel worth it spending most of my life being unhappy, and just living for those rare happy moments. Getting a job you enjoy and being happy sounds nice and everything, but realistically not everyone can do that. Life just isn't like that. Right now I'm living a pretty decent life. I've been very fortunate. I have a fantastic boyfriend and cute puppy. But sometimes I just can't help but feel like none of this is worth it. Is that normal? Do other people think like this? Sometimes the feeling is just so overwhelming.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 51 votes (29 yes)
Feeling Suicidal?
We couldn't help but notice that you might be asking about things related to suicide...
If that's not the case, please ignore this message.
But, if that is the case, please, please, please call this hotline and talk to someone about it. Or, visit one of these websites and get some help.
Unfortunately IIN isn't the best place for you to be asking about this. Check out the above websites or call one of the hotlines instead. They can help. Really. We know what we're talking about. Call. Do it. Please.
Remember that everything gets better with time.
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 2 )
  • IAmBackYo
    9 years ago

    I felt like a parallel me wrote this lol. I understand completely. I feel the same way. It's like people work for so long, and so many are just miserable. To make themselves feel better, they have to hurt others, even if they don't mean to. I mean by cheating or stealing or something. The things that are taboo create the most pleasure in life, which is why people enjoy doing them. But I am not like that. I enjoy my ethics, morality.
    And for me, it's humanity as well. I am very introverted and anti-social. I just don't want to be around people because I feel like they are horrible. We have sucha beautiful world, and humans have effectively destroyed it with their war, and crimes, and violence, and negativity. Do I need to go on?
    People say don't focus on that because you can't change it. But it bothers me. I want a child, but then I think -- I don't ever want to bring someone into this clusterfuck of a world to experience and find out what murder or rape or abuse or anything horrible like that is.
    I live a good life though. Had a blessed upbringing and great childhood. Any bad memories were from things I did myself, my choices, nothing that happened to me like abuse or anything. But I still can't help but feel like this. I guess this is my "soul contract", what I signed up for when coming here -- to learn how to enjoy and appreciate life, even though I was given a great one. Who knows?
    I don't lack desire to live. I just lack the desire to want to live lol. Does that make sense? I enjoy life -- I think it's amazing. There are many amazing things that I want to do: learn another language, read more, increase my knowledge, have a child, buy a house, write a book, etc. I just don't really want to do it. It's difficult to explain.
    At the end of the day, I don't really care if I don't wake up.

    TL;DR: At the end of the day, I wouldn't care if I went to sleep and knew I would not wake up the following morning.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • molk
    9 years ago

    i have these thoughts too when i get angry and i can't let them out of my mind

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0