Is it normal to have sudden spurts of deep hostility?

Sometimes I'm overcome by an overwhelming feeling of hostility: as in a need to be hostile. Its somewhat sadistic. During these instances, nothing does not frustrate me, and somehow I'm assured by my mind that arranging things so as to hamper another's (preferably immediate) satisfaction is the wondrous means to supreme gratification. In other words, being a dick to anyone around me for no real reason is suddenly very, very appealing; so much so that it takes almost everything in me to not give in to it. This is very odd if you knew me because I'm generally the passive one that's fine with close to anything.

The saving grace being that somehow I am able to identify these instances just as they take me over and so I'm able to keep it under considerable control- that is to say, the damage is kept at a minimum at least. But occasionally it does tend to spiral out of control, and when I realise this, I usually take to isolating myself. I just remain highly and easily irritable until it fades away by itself. Sometimes it has triggers, sometimes it doesn't. It isn't an equal ratio.

Conversely, I've had instances where I get insanely happy for no particular reason. As in, I could just be sitting on the bus and suddenly I have this ultimate happiness flood into me and I just want to save the world. An exaggeration- but not by much. I get really friendly, really generous, really willing. And then it dies too, and I'm left utterly confused and begging that it returns.

It sounds weird putting it down like this. I apologise for the length of it. But I had to get it out. This has confused me forever- even though I've grown somewhat accustomed to them. So I figured I'd just put it out there to see if there were any better ways around it, or if it was actually just normal (though I highly doubt that). I haven't exactly mentioned it to anyone else either because I know it sounds crazy, and its an easy association to make.

That's about it. Thank you.

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Based on 44 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Short4Words

    You're not crazy, this sounds like me quite a bit. The bad moods are more often but yea. I don't know what it is, it's not really bipolar as that lasts in long periods of either high or low.

    I wish I could tell you more but I can't tell what is part of something else and what is part of this "condition."

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    • That's exactly it. I can't seem to put a finger on it; and that's the worst part.
      And yes I considered bipolar, but quickly dismissed it when i discovered that i would be unable to identify the onset of the swings. Which is not the case.
      Very weird, this.

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  • fullhouse

    You're normal. Don't worry, everyone has this to some extent. I am a pretty passive person too but I get the urge to be mean to someone but it's very easy for me to not do so. Have a good day

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  • Shackleford96

    I get like this sometimes. However, for me, it's more of an urge to rebel oppression than an urge to be hostile to everyone. It usually happens to me after I have caffeine and my brain starts thinking a little too much for my own sanity's good...

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  • lisac1919

    Yes I get this too! I hate to say, but I read one of the signs of bipolar is to sometimes have urges to play mean 'pranks' on people. Like basically be mean completely randomly to people. Ive never been diagnosed with bipolar and I don't think I have it or you do, but im just saying this is one thing I have read.

    I hate to admit this but one time I was in one of these moods and I purposely called up this girl I only semi like to meet me somewhere knowing that I was just going to stay at home and be amused by the angry texts. That's a perfect example of the type of stuff i do while in this mood. I also like to annoy my dog. It is terrible, I don't understand it either...even while im doing the horrible things I feel guilty and ask myself why the hell am I being such a dick? But at the same time I also feel this weird anger directed at nothing and I just keep on doing it, like I cant stop. Its kind of like how OCD people have these 'intrusive thoughts' that they really don't want to think but keep thinking about them because they cant stop. Maybe its something to do with anxiety and boredom or something...

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