Is it normal to have such feelings

OK so I've stopped talking to my best friend/ ex-love of my life (whatever he is) for sometime, he told me not to call him unless he himself feels like doing so, cuz every time we have a conversation we end up fighting and he doesn't feel like talking to me normally now, but he also says he will definitely be normal and that if I trust him I won't call. Now the problem is after all that has happened between us I don't wanna trust him and wanna tell him that it is hard for me to do so. But I also feel that if I keep my mouth shut for sometime he himself will miss me and talk to me like nothing ever happened. But then at times i feel I don't wanna be friends with him anymore. I don't know should I trust him and be friends with him like before or should I stop Being friends with him? I have expectations that he'll love me if I do so, but I know things don't work out like expected and he's made it very clear he can never fall in love with me.. I feel like I wanna Go bang my head somewhere... Is It Normal To Have Mixed Emotions Like This