Is it normal to have such a low tolerance level?

55% Normal
4 Comments

Let me start off by saying that I don't really have any long term friends. None of my friendships seem to last very long. As a teenager I had long term friendships, but not since ... What seems to happen is that they will always do or say something, which I cannot get over or deal with, so to me it seems easier to just distance myself from them.

I understand that noone is perfect, and I am not saying I am perfect either... However, my tolerance for what to me seems like unacceptable behaviour is very low.

For example, one of my good friends asked me if I would like to be invited to her wedding to eat. I was offended and distanced myself from her since.

Another friend would never turn up to events I organised if there were more people invited. She was an one on one kind of a person. It annoyed me, didn't fit my lifestyle so I am no longer friends with her.

A family member couldn't control her kids whenever they would visit us at our house. She would let her kids destroy our property, make a mess etc. My husband and I confronted her many many times, and told her that they should follow our rules when in our home, to no avail. We've now reduced contact with them too, as it was just wayyy to stressful having them over.

Another family member thrives on gossip and is the only thing she ever wants to talk about. Texts me all day long, probably over 40 times a day. I've now decided to only reply 3 times a day. I don't want to deal with it any more.

I sometimes wonder if I think that noone is good enough for me. The thing is, my level of tolerance for what I think is unacceptable behaviour, is extremely low, and I find it easier to just avoid it then deal with it.

I know I should concentrate on the good things in people, and see past the negative side of things about them, but I just can't seem to be able to do that :(

Am I normal?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 22 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    No sounds like your family are assholes.

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  • college
    10 years ago

    Aside from the wedding example, I'd probably react the same way to many of the situations you described, so I think your reactions are completely normal. However, if you find yourself reacting this way to trivial mistakes made by your friends, then it's certainly something that should be addressed. It's totally possible to change your behavior, and it's even easier -- but by no means easy -- in your case because you recognize this behavior in yourself and can therefore catch yourself in the act.

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    • hmmmm987
      10 years ago

      Thank you for that.
      Would you happen to know what this "condition" is called?

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      • college
        10 years ago

        I wouldn't necessarily call this a condition, it's more a personality trait/behavior. You just happen to have a low tolerance level. But like I mentioned before, if it's causing you distress and lowering your quality of life, it can certainly be managed, it'll just take some work and some time, so patience with yourself is key.

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