Is it normal to have so many deal breakers?

Forgive the judgemental tone, but i would suggest you might approaching relationships all wrong. There's nothing wrong with having high standards, and knowing what you want is also good. But having a specific list of criteria blocks you off to the possibilities that people that may have one or two of these flaws might entail. What if someone comes along who is perfect for you, but can have a tendency to nag when worried about you (this is normal human behaviour). Perhaps they don't always put their dishes away after eating. What if they like different music, but are incredible in every other way. Does music need to be the basis of your relationship? How can you be planning out a relationship in that detail with someone you don't know yet?

What about your own flaws? Do you think if everyone had an extensive list like this that you would fit someone's criteria perfectly? Let's say the perfect person came along and did somehow fit your own criteria perfectly, and you fell for them... Wouldn't you want them to overlook YOUR flaws and love you as you are rather than be coolly measured to a set of standards?

The reason no one meets your standards? They are almost impossible. They are essentially just another you. You cannot hope to find such a person, and if you did, i suspect that with this attitude they would only get on your nerves anyway. What's to love about someone exactly like you? That's boring.

Falling in love is about loving someone unconditionally, no matter how infuriating some aspects of them might be. They need to make you happy (and visa versa) but them loving you and you loving them back should not be dependant on any criteria. Loving is about celebrating your differences and loving one another all the more for them; helping each other to work on their flaws; working towards a common goal of closeness… It's hard to explain if you've never truly been mutually in love, but respectfully i have to concur that you haven't.

If you meet the right person (trust me, if you are remotely open to the possibility, they won't look anything like the person you've imagined, or be anything like this list dictates), then you will know, and your list will be necessarily forgotten.

You are way too judgemental. Especially considering you're just as flawed as anyone else. It's ok to have some standards, but one day you will find there's more to two people getting along than meeting criteria on a list. If you try to live by a list of criteria for your partner then it works both ways. Eventually you will fail to meet up to your partner's list and they'll leave you and you'll wish you never made up lists to live up to.

The no nagging one might be a problem.

Fitter, happier, more productive
Comfortable, not drinking too much
Regular exercise at the gym 3 days a week
Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries

At ease, eating well
No more microwave dinners and saturated fats
A patient better driver, a safer car, baby smiling in back seat
Sleeping well, no bad dreams, no paranoia
Careful to all animals, never washing spiders down the plughole

Keep in contact with old friends, enjoy a drink now and then
Will frequently check credit at Moral Bank hole in wall
Favors for favors, fond but not in love
Charity, standing orders, on Sundays ring road supermarket

No killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants
Car wash also on Sundays
No longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
Nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate
Nothing so childish

At a better pace, slower and more calculated
No chance of escape, now self-employed
Concerned but powerless
An empowered and informed member of society

Pragmatism, not idealism
Will not cry in public
Less chance of illness
Tires that grip in the wet
Shot of baby strapped in back seat
A good memory

Still cries at a good film
Still kisses with saliva
No longer empty and frantic
Like a cat tied to a stick
That's driven into frozen winter shit

The ability to laugh at weakness
Calm, fitter, healthier and more productive
A pig in a cage on antibiotics

Read more: Radiohead - Fitter Happier Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Seems pretty realistic to me.

You sound like a friend of mine. These all sound like very reasonable requests. But be wary of sounding too demanding. And don't assume your date is going to break them.

I'd love to lay it out simply for my friend, however I risk pushing them away if I speak too much about it. The problem my friend has that sounds like something you may suffer from is not knowing how to lay down proper boundaries. They say they are willing to make sacrifices because they care more about the person than the thing they gave up. That isn't a boundary, that's a concession. The second they do something that annoys you, you will resent that sacrifice.

But maybe that isnt you. Ultimately, communicate your boundaries and learn the fine art of compromise. Both partners should easily slide into these roles without requiring a discussion on the concept of deal breakers.