Is it normal to have no sense of self?

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5 Comments

I'm not really sure how to explain this so bear with me.

From a young age, I have heard this advice to "just be yourself". However, I don't think I have a "self" to be. My personality and habits right now are entirely a product of those around me. My idea of self seems to change spontaneously with the company I keep.

I'm not really sure if I'm being clear at all here but anyways is it normal to determine who you are nearly entirely by who you are around?

By the way, 20 year old male.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 54 votes (46 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • jsnpq
    7 years ago

    Most people never take the time or make the effort to find themselves much less ask the question you are asking. I know you're 20 and a legal adult and all that but you are still developing as a person. By your mid thirties you will probably be able answer this question much more easily.

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  • Patchers
    11 years ago

    I am exactly like this, I know entirely where you are coming from. I can look in the mirror and find it impossible to recognize the person staring back at me.

    When I took sociology we discussed this... it's been years and I don't have my text on me so I cannot look it up.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Yep everyone does it.

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  • TheLlidD
    11 years ago

    Okay. well at 20, you haven't collected too many marks of pride.

    Let's use Me for examples, I just woke up so it is easier than researching other heroes. Let's compare me at twenty and compare it to Me now. One day you'll be the same(but different):

    - I'm 28, but at twenty I could NOT say my Girlfriend is hot... I doubt I had one. At twenty I had not been to every Canadian Province and 5 countries; but I have now. At twenty I hadn't lived and worked on a contract for a Prince, in Canada at that! At twenty, I had barely accomplished actually passing and graduating Highschool: it was this year I had just started my pilots license and couldn't fathom that I would ever afford the next lesson! but I did. I can Now say (sometime in my 28th year) I am a University Grad, (sorta, I'm missing one class this January)

    I can say that now with more experiences, it helps me figure out that sense of self.

    It comes with time, time always helps; it is really great what can be accomplished and discovered with time - So just keep doing what you are doing. adjust, explore and be; everyone else will know who you are, and as you become more alive - friends and family and yourself will help you find out who you are.

    Hope it Helps!
    Dirk.

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  • dappled
    11 years ago

    There's a very good Woody Allen film called Zelig about a man with this trait. It might be interesting to you, at least, if not helpful.

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