Is it normal to have no interest in romance?

76% Normal
7 Comments

I'm 28, female, reasonably attractive, socially competent and I've never had sex, or had a boyfriend. I've been on dates and messed around a little. I never intended to remain a virgin. It's not the sex that bothers me. I just don't want to be in a relationship. I don't like the idea of commitment.

The guys who have asked me all wanted to persue a relationship. They were good people but it seemed invasive to me and I resented the fact that they wanted me to devote myself to them and spend lots of time with them. It felt contrived.

My female friends are always on the search for "the one" and talking about marriage. My male friends are always talking about the girls they're in love with , their whole lives seem to revolve around relationships. It seems like they can "Switch it on" and fall in love at will. When they talk about it its like they're speaking another language. and I just... Honestly I just don't care about that stuff.

I never had crushes on people growing up. I can like someone, love them even, find them attractive but I don't understand the concept of "In love" and I don't want to spent my life in partnership with someone else and I certainly don't want to fake feelings I don't have.

This upsets my friends and family. I'm starting to think I'm not meant for the world the way I am, the way it is. I'm crying as I type this. I feel like an alien.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 34 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • dom180
    11 years ago

    It is difficult for you growing up in a world which seems to revolve entirely around something you can't understand.

    I'm sure you're not alone; I'm sure other people feel like you do. Don't fake your feelings or be someone you're not to try and fit in with what the world expects. It won't ever make YOU happy, it'll just make them happy for a while.

    I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. I really hope someone here can be more helpful than me.

    Do your friends know this is how you feel? Have you told them or your family about what you feel about relationships? If you haven't, you should do. They'll be supportive. If you're keeping it a secret, that will be part of the reason it upsets you so much. Talk about it to somebody. Please.

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  • blasphemer
    11 years ago

    i feel the same way you do, im 23 female, im a virgin too despite the fact men always flirt with me. When people talk about relationships they bore the shit out of me, i stop talking to them and find something better to do.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Trust me, you're not the only one who feels like an alien. Just because you're not like everyone around you doesn't mean that you're any different.

    I understanding what you mean about everyone being so concerned with relationships and finding "the one." However, your life is your life and it doesn't belong to anyone else but you. Live your life the way you see fit and not by the view of others.

    You aren't an alien because the people around you aren't like you. Your simply your own person, nothing more and nothing less.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It's not necessary... even though it's a common practice. You're helping prevent overpopulation.

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  • Samson
    11 years ago

    Its normal so shaddup!

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  • nobleserpent
    11 years ago

    I'm alot like you except I never had a problem with it. Why do you think it bothers you?

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "I'm 28, female, reasonably attractive, socially competent and I've never had sex, or had a boyfriend"

    bwahahah, none of those things belong in the same sentence lol.

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