Is it normal to have no friends?

10 Comments

A workable definition of "friend", for my current purpose, would be a person who:

- You have a great deal of affection towards.

- You spend alot of time with outside of work or school.

- You do not feel socially awkward or self-conscious around.

- You (mostly) trust. You may confide in and share secrets with this person.

- Reciprocates the above criteria.

I am someone who literally has no friends. I have no strong emotional attachments to any other human beings (aside from carnal infatuation with near strangers), spend every waking (and sleeping) moment of my free time alone, am eternally awkward and self-conscious around others, and do not confide in anyone in regards to my feelings or problems that I am going through.

The reason I am this way is because I consciously decided to be. While growing up, I suffered years of abuse, neglect, humiliation, and general emotional anguish at the hands of others due to my own incredibly poor social skills (I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome), and the simple, cruel nature that many people possess, though I do not blame them; people do not choose their mental makeup. Regardless, I was eventually forced to realize that humans are toxic to me, and that a life of emotional solitude is my only option.

Upon high school graduation several years ago, I ceased communicating with the few friends that I had at the time, and rapidly lost contact with everyone that I have ever known. I have not had a single close relationship with anyone of any kind since then. I do not have an account on any social networking site, nor a cell phone, and my email is only for business. I cannot remember the last time I had a conversation with someone that consisted of anything more than shallow small-talk conjured glibly by myself so that I might pass for a living, breathing human complete with emotions and blend into my workplace without arousing suspicion, and even then only when necessary.

I live in an emotional shell. I have no friends. I view this as an achievement to be admired, and not as a problem to be solved. I feel that I am undergoing a kind of "evolution". Maybe I will post another story about this once I can articulate what this actually means.

How about you? Do you have any friends?

Yes. 34
No. 34
Not sure. 14
Other. 5
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Comments ( 10 )
  • [email protected]
    11 years ago

    I have no friends so I dont give a fuck

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    This is sad. );

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  • peterrabbyt
    10 years ago

    I have a few guys who like to suck my cock. Does that count?

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  • Allistalla
    11 years ago

    Sweety yes ... but it may not be you may be that everyone around you is a asshole ... dont fret you dont need freinds and one day youll make some trust me .
    I didnt have freinds most of my life but thats becuase I wasnt looking at wangs in a catolog which was the only exceptable behavior at the time , your proboly just more normol than the drowd your surrounded by

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  • myownopinions
    11 years ago

    For the title question, it's normal... I think. For the last question you asked, no I do not have your definition of a friend, but I do think that I have a few aquaintances.

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  • Glass
    11 years ago

    With the definition the op gave, no. It doesn't bother me nowadays though.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    I always though of an evolution of consciousness to be a deeper sence of that connection with the world around you. But we all have access to these connections whether we are aware of it or not. Hang in there kid.

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  • Shrunk
    11 years ago

    I don't have any friend that I can physically be with, but one I met on the internet and talk to on skype, if that counts. I find it's usually too much work for me to maintain a friendship, or that there are few people I can really connect to on that level of trust. If you are truly happy being alone, as I'm sure some people can be despite what's supposedly ''normal'', then I guess it's alright and you can make your own lifestyle...

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    I don't think that you see this as an "evolution" but instead conjured this idea to deal with the solitude. You've given up on finding another human being to be yourself with. However, by posting this you've proven to yourself that you at least have some hope. Why else would you be curious about the lives of others on this site? Why ask about us? Why try to establish a connection with strangers?

    I understand that talking to people can be a chore, believe me I do. However, you're not the only one who feels this way. Try going to places where disillusionment can be found, how about the library?

    If by the end of the day you can honestly say that you're happy with your life, then I can respect that and there is no problem, however, you shouldn't have to convince yourself that there isn't one in the first place.

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  • Flea50
    11 years ago

    You say you do not want a solution to your 'problem', if you can call it that, but don't you think you would be happier with some friends or people just to play/hang out with. This could be acomplished by taking up a new hobby, like I have many hobbies like flying RC planes, helis, hovercrafts, boats, making models, robots, running and I learned most of this in 3-1 year(s). In these hobbies there are lots of discussion involved in building and design(exempt running :)). They also are competitive for cool designs and flying with other people on the field. You could go to the gym and meet some people, join a running/cycling group. There are lots of possibilitys to try.

    But I also suppost it depends on where you live and you econmic status too.

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