Is it normal to have hurt feelings over this?

79% Normal
27 Comments

My boss and i are really close like a mother daughter type relationship. I'm 22 she's 53.In August I decided to ask her if she wanted to go to a restaurant out to eat for a random boss appreciation day. She seemed really happy about the whole idea of it. I also figured this would open up an opportunity to get her to open up about her mother since she passed away in June. I know shes still hurting inside. She's was back working. It's been 3 and a half months and she still hasn't taken me up for my offer. I asked on 3 separate occasions so when can we go and she always says something like we'll look at the schedule for next week to come up with something. I even have been holding on to a gift since April that I knew I would give her on my random boss appreciation day. Well today I saw her on her day off get in the car on the store parking lot with another young manager who just recently got her own store (same company) along with another former employee. We'll when they got back the former employee said they went out to lunch.I'm hurt. I'm thinking I've been asking all this time AND I asked first. I'm I right to feel hurt? And should I say anything to her?

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 14 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry, but you should probabl just let it go.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      What do I do with my card and gift I've been holding on to the past 8 months? It just hurts really bad because I have no friends she's been like a mother to me I feel that she has no shame. Out of all places to meet they choose the store I work at? Really?!

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      • reminiscent
        9 years ago

        Leave them on her desk with a note saying your sorry you two couldn't get together... that you intended to get them to her when you had lunch but its been so long you thought it wouldnt be good to hold onto them for so long.

        Maybe she isn't doing it to be meen but still hurt about her mother like you said....maybe she thinks you will want to talk about it....best case scenario is she isn't trying to be meen or hurt you.

        I dont know what else to say I feel for you...but I have little power to help you...as I think the best way would be to talk to a friend in rl or hang out...but you just stated you had none :(

        Have you ever thought about knitting? You can go for a few classes this might help you meet some new people.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          No I've never thought about knitting. Maybe I'll look into it. Thank you for your advice about the gift.

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          • reminiscent
            9 years ago

            You can try that or another skill you might like to learn to take a class and hang out with people. :)

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        • RoseIsabella
          9 years ago

          My grandma used to knit and she was really good at it. I miss her.

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Just give it to her like Reminiscent said.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Ok thank you for your advice.

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          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            :-)

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    • reminiscent
      9 years ago

      I am also sorry about this situation... I also think it is something you will have to let go of.
      *hugs*

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        I misspelled the word probably.
        :-'(

        I have to let go, because it's too late to edit out my mistake. I am powerless over my typo.

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        • reminiscent
          9 years ago

          Oh you poor thing im sorry but I laughed so hard at this that my bf turned in his chair and gave me a weird look.

          I make typos offten since I use a phone...dont take it so hard *pats back*

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          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            Thanks, and paws up to you, my friend.
            ;-)

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  • Ellenna
    9 years ago

    Wasn't this question on here a couple of months ago with identical facts? Or maybe I'm having an attack of de ja vu?

    You seem very needy and lonely and your fixation on her has probably come across clearly and she didn't want to encourage it by going out with you socially.

    Back off, get involved in something where you can make friends outside of work: probably not knitting as suggested, something a bit more outward looking. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or something, put the card in the recycling and the gift to your local charity shop - move on, you don't have to stay stuck in this pointless self-destructive situation. If necessary, get some professional help and if you're still findng it difficult at work, find another job if possible.

    I'm curious, are "boss appreciation days" a custom where you live or did you invent them yourself? Just asking because I'e never heard of them before that earlier post and it sounds a bit like brown nosing to me

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    • reminiscent
      9 years ago

      Hey whats wrong with knitting? ?? I knit :P

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      • Ellenna
        9 years ago

        Nothing wrong with it and I knit too, but it's usually a fairly solitary occupation and I reckon OP needs some stimulating social connections ........ Knitting is great! Maybe she could knit using outrageous colours in public and people would talk to her about her knitting?

        My usual suggestion which I didn't make here, is get a dog and walk it .... meet people, get exercise, unconditional love from the dog ...... but I know that's not possible for everyone, although if you can't have a dog yourself there are always people whose dogs need walking.

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        • reminiscent
          9 years ago

          Haha knitting ftw.[○´・ω・]人[・ω・｀●]
          I was hopping she could take classes then join a social knitting circle . I prefure to knit on my own but i have seen some nice knitting circles.
          I always recommend joining a club or picking up a hobby to meet new people.
          Table top rp is a lot of fun and you can meet a lot of nice people...im just not sure how nerdy op is :P

          A dog is also a great suggestion

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          • Ellenna
            9 years ago

            What is table top rp?

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            • reminiscent
              9 years ago

              Table top rp (role play) its when a group if people sit around with characters they made and roll dice...taking there characters on adventures...most popular game is dungeons and dragons

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