Is it normal to have feelings for someone younger than me?

85% Normal
14 Comments

I am 19 and I have just recently discovered that I have a crush on my neighbor whom I believe is between the ages of 14 and 16. My neighbors just recently moved in (A family of 5, Mother, Father, and 3 sons) about 8 months ago and at first I really didn't care much I hardly talked to them but as I began to talk more with the parents and the youngest son I became more aware of my new neighbors. And about 3 months ago I just suddenly developed feelings for the oldest son. I find myself staring at him a lot and I've even had dreams about him – not perverse dreams but just normal dreams and the oldest son just happens to be in my dreams. I don't feel right having such feelings toward a boy of such a young age. I sometimes even hate myself for harboring such feelings toward such a young boy. I converse with the family, all but oldest son. It seems as if every time I get near the neighbors house to talk to his father or mother or his brothers he alienates himself for as long as I am there conversing with his family. I smiled at him once when I was washing my car and he had come back from school, he smiled back but looked down immediately to the floor and speed walked into his house. That was about 2 months ago and since then he ignores me whenever I am out and greets my parents’ hello but doesn’t acknowledge my existence. I have been trying not to go outside as much and refrain from looking at him which I’ve been pretty successful in doing. I hope that having a crush on someone younger than me is normal.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 135 votes (115 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • DarkHart86
    14 years ago

    It's normal to have a crush on someone, there's nothing wrong with a crush, just try not to act out on those feelings and from how you explain the boy acting, he might have a crush on you too or he could have found out by instinct that you have that crush and is scared about what might happen, if he did find out and is scared, the only thing i can think of is he's trying to avoid you so you lose those feelings towards him.

    but I could be wrong on that

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    • Danni89
      14 years ago

      I don't know about him having a crush on me... I Highly doubt that. But I am trying to avoid anything and everything involving going outside when he is home. And lately when and if I do go outside - it's mostly in my back yard I avoid the Front as much as possible - I've caught him looking through his bedroom blinds in my backyard when I'm outside. :/ But he could probably just be bored because his mother told me when I talked to her that he and his brother were grounded so I can only imagine maybe he is just bored and is just being nosy teen? I mean I'm guessing there isn't really much to do when you are grounded, I wouldn't know I've never been grounded. But yes like I said I am trying to avoid the outside of my house(my front yard mostly) when he is home.

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  • sexykerii
    6 years ago

    Dad thinks hey if you don't like my son I don't like you too. You did say "I converse with all the family all except the oldest son."

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  • droopzy
    11 years ago

    I was in the same situation but on the other end, long story short everyone except us thought it was bad. I miss her.

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  • eile.heart
    13 years ago

    I started to hate my mother, when I started to messed up in school... Education and finishing college is one of my wildest dream.. I grew up with a very low self-steem... My mom and dad always criticize everything i do... they keep labeling me as stupid, dam, no brainer, they always make me look stupid in front of other people.... I grew up scared, shy, and afraid to face trials, scared to love, scared to make mistake.. so painful.. Pain is my teacher while growing up.. I waited until i become mature enough to accept, my circumstances... I can handle now many types of pain, but my hate for my mother, most of the time bother me and make me struggle to move forward and achieve my dream... I'm still waiting for my success to come... I graduated college, Finally.. Not easy thing to do when you have heart aches and anger... One exam away, and i'm free... I hope that, when i get out of our house, i'll find the peace and happiness that I am looking for..

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    I know what you mean about the double standard, Bud, but I'm not so sure it really applies so much anymore. In my opinion, it's just as awkward for a 19-year-old girl to date a 14-year-old boy (Let's say this kid is 14.) Okay, not AS awkward, but it's definitely a little strange.

    I don't think it's sick, and I don't think she's weird or that it's wrong for her to have a crush on him, I simply think that she would better benefit from saving her feelings for someone closer to her age. I mean 14 or 15 y.o. boys...no matter how mature they are, they aren't ready for the kind of relationship a 19 y.o. would expect. And they shouldn't be, they're kids.

    To me, this sounds like a matter of lonliness. It sounds like she's projecting it onto this kid. Maybe the fact that he doesn't give her the time of day intensifies it. In reality, he probably doesn't pay her much attention because she is an adult, and he is a kid. She's got this romantic image of what it would be like to have this sort of taboo relationship with this boy next door, and in reality, it's almost guaranteed it would be anything but romantic. I mean come on, she's 19 and she's been obsessing over this kid for three months. She should be out pursuing guys closer to her own age rather than lamenting the fact that a child wont acknowledge her advances.

    Don't mean to be harsh, poster. I'm just giving you my honest opinion. I can see where you're coming from, though. I had a crush on my cousin's friend at one point when he was 15 and I was about 20. He was quirky, he played the guitar, he had long hair, he was a little flirt.....you know how it goes. But I knew it wasn't appropriate and I got over it really quick.

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  • Magicer
    14 years ago

    I think you need to Take A Deep Breath and Slow Down alittle bit. You can't fall in love with such a young boy, he is about to start discovering the world of relations and it better be with some girl of his Age.

    If you think about it you'll see you can't work this out, Dueto many circumstances like Age, Different way of thinking, it is believed that women develop mentally faster than Men, so your mind should be 5-8 years ahead. so trust me when i say this won't work.

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  • one_green
    14 years ago

    I just have to add that in some states in the U.S., it is illegal for someone your age to have a relationship with someone who is 15....or 16 for that matter, even if you both consent to it. I'm just adding this because it is serious and many people get in trouble with the law for this kind of thing. I would encourage you to research the law where you live and then think of possible consequences to acting on your crush. I didn't mean to be a "pooper" but thought you needed to know about this, if you didn't already.

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    It's normal but it's certainly not ideal. I mean.....doesn't it make you feel kind of silly to be obsessing over some 15-year-old kid and wondering why he doesn't pay attention to you? My advice is to think about how inexperienced he is, and probably so much less mature than you, so that you can start thinking of him as a kid again instead of a potential love interest.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      I am not the author but I understand it. I used to like my first girlfriend's best friend. She was really weird and very into salior moon which I never understood. However, she was sorta cute and my sister was her friend for a while so I had gotten used to her.

      Nothing ever happened with this girl as I am an honest person but I would be lying to say I didn't htink about it. Same thing with her friend Jean. Long story, it only becomes wrong if the girl is way too young (She was 14, I was 18 so it wasn't bad to like her, just wrong if I acted on it.) like a child and not a young woman or you do it in a creepy way.

      Don't steal her stuff and then "use" it. Just be honest and his best friend. Later, you have options but do the right thing and wait.

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      • Danni89
        14 years ago

        Oh I really have no intentions of "getting" with this kid. I mean yeah I have feelings toward him but I am not going to act upon them because I can only imagine how that might feel for the poor boy; a 19 year old woman getting to know a young boy. I mean I value the families friendship too much too screw it up. Thank you for the advise though :)

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  • Alaxett
    14 years ago

    Completely normal. Young boys have tendency to be more shy and reserved than their older comparison, so he's not ready. Believe me, two times when I was in high school, a girl suddenly want me to be her sweetheart without have me acknowledge that she showed me she's interest, I quickly turn them down. I had no idea why, tho I would do a bit differently today.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Your the girl so you have an advantage. TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM, stop being away from him and get to know him. Just because you like him does not mean you have to sleep with him. But I really suggest getting close to him and get to know him better.

    Be the friend he needs. ALso, if you tell him you like him, it will only HELP you as younger men are craving attention from the opposite sex and you are older than him. It becomes bragging rites to him. Its fine, go let him know and stop avoiding him, you might end up missing on something wonderful out of fear or a bullshit sence of loyalty to custom and laws that don't apply to you anyways, your the girl.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    Okay, that age is normal. Just be a good friend of her's until she is older. I'm engaged to a 21 year old and I am 29. Sure, I started knowing her at HER 18 and didn't start dating until she was 19 but the age difference will always be there.

    I have dated older as well. MY black/asian exgirlfriend was 11 years older and when I was fat, my ex before that was ... older.

    OH, your a girl - then you are doing nothing wrong. This is a double standard that works for women (Most do and prove me wrong to debate this.) and it is more acceptible.

    Just become his friend and BE just that for a while. I am engaged to my best friend and it is the best relationship I have ever been in because it is so much better than just about sex. OH, and if you didn't get it, I'm a guy.

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