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I have fears that if I touch butter or oil, the calories will seep through my skin. I also fear calories in shampoo seeping into my hair. I have "bad" and "good" foods, as well. I can't ever eat certain foods because they bring back bad memories. Is it normal?
Possibly take a biology or physics class? Calories aren't really a specific thing that could seep into your skin or hair. They're a measurement of energy contained in food and other chemicals, similar to how watts are a measurement of energy. You can think of calories in the things we eat and are exposed to as the charge contained in specific batteries. Without using those batteries in the correct area with the correct hardware the energy within them isn't accessible. It's the same with calories in food. They can only really be accessed effectively in the stomach.
As for the last part about past memories affecting your taste in food that's completely normal.
I want to stick it in dirtybirdy's butt and pee in her mouth afterwards.
Maybe you should learn a little about nutrition. A little education on the matter should clean that phobia right up.