Is it normal to have fearful of growing up?

It is only natural to be afraid of growing up when all you can see around is an unsafe environment in which social relationships are unstable and always on the verge of arguing. You end up being tormented with suspicious thoughts both about the people you share your life with and those you have to interact with on the workplace. Never knowing what is going on around y

thanks doriz. tts kind of helpful of u. perhaps i shld jus stop being self centred n feel it as per normal as we dun live for whoever.. if they do wanna outcast me.. there is nothin i can do to stop that from happening n jus for being myself that would be good.. :))

Around you socially can be very hard. You never know who is saying what about you and what to expect, all you know is: you better expect bad things to happen. You see the tension around you building up to unacceptable levels, cannot quite really ever drop it, you have to look all self absorbed and self centered, like nothing is going on, all the time, or your friends start thinking you are a pussy or whatever, but really it is just them creating a climate of tension they feel like taking and putting up with not giving two shits about how you might feel about it. So you become self conscious, need to hide your insecurities from others and that is so you start growing paranoid about everything and not being able of really thinking to anything to change your situation, all you do is relying on your insticts and impulses till you end up causing something really fucked up in an attempt to fix your irreversibly fucked up established social life. Like beating up your best friend, spreading malcontent and suspiciousness all around you. Which everyone ignores, thinking: maybe if I ignore it long and hard enough it will go away. But it never does. All the hidden conflicts between eachother keep existing behind the apparently normal or otherwise acceptable behaviors then they come up when you least expect them and Boom! The whole group blows up. Unless, you take it on somebody else,dump all of your frustrations on the first jackass you stumble on while walking down the street. And that is when you get arrested.