Is it normal to have alter egos that are trying to take over?

First off, I used to use a lot of psychedelics for a couple years. I also had a nasty amphetamine (ecstasy, mephedrone, prescription etc) addiction for close to 8 months. During this time period I started feeling as if I had alter egos living inside me. While on amphetamines I would go to a couple of local clubs I always went to and do live artwork for the bands playing there. Eventually I started dressing in this particular style, wore fake glasses and started referring to myself as The Black Light Artist. I wrote a lot during this time period as well and most of what I've seen looking back points to general mania. I've started going to a psychiatrist who thinks I may be somewhere in the bipolar spectrum, but there are a few other things I haven't told him that I'm afraid to. Aside from The Black Light Artist, I've started seeing or rather experiencing these "other" forces that usually appear in the mirror. They are not separate identities, but rather manifest themselves through my body. The first one is a donkey which may represent my animalistic side, but many a time I've looked in the mirror to see a beast like face. There's also Jessica, who I believe is my feminine side personified. I don't know what she wants, but she always tries to make me act like a girl which I personally don't like at all. Then there's Doobie George. He seems to be some sort of demon figure who speaks in gibberish and wants to hurt people. I'm fascinated by serial killers and the macabre, so this may stem from those interests. I never act on what he suggests and I don't think I ever will, but I'm starting to feel like I"m losing control. Sometimes I'll space out and act like one of my characters (usually by myself) which scares me to death. I'm conscious during these episodes, but I feel like I'm being manipulated in a way. On a side note, I also can't drive at night without having panic attacks. If there's a car behind me, I always think it's a cop trying to get me. I've been arrested twice so it may be post arrest jitters, but I seem to be paranoid in general. I guess my question is am I insane? Is it normal to be like this? And should I tell my psychiatrist?

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 33 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • Avant-Garde

    Perhaps, a full body detox/cleanse could get out the residual traces of what you took?

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  • SkyWolfAlpha

    Honestly, I think you're controlling this, but you don't want to admit you have control of it. I've met a lot of people who believe they have some sort of alter ego, other character, or whatever living inside them and occasionally act it out, but it just seems very weird to me. They're still the same person, they're aware of all this (people with multiple personality disorder are seldom aware of their other personalities). For a while, I believed I had a dark spirit living in a part of my soul. It was really just me wanting to be that, and wanting to be it without consequences to "his" actions. Having it was just an excuse to seperate and a desire for a free pass to do whatever.

    Yours may be residual effects from drugs, though... I'd see a psychologist or therapist on top of the psychiatrist, preferrably one with addiction or drug effects experience.

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    • TBates

      I know what you mean about being sonewhat in control since this tends to happen when im alone. I still do see a therapist that ive went to since november of 2010 right after my first arrest. Unfortunately i lied to him for 8 months about using and ended up in rehab for 72 days. A psychiatrist at the time told me i was experiencing drug induced schizophrenia, but it woukd subside with the antipsychotics i took for a while. Im currently on Respiradol, Wellbutrin abd Trazodone. Im just paranoid i did some damage with everything i did. I was real big on the mollys plant food and synthetic marijuana for a while. I also indulged in acid for two months straight back in fall 2010. I was taking 10 strips twice a week.

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      • TBates

        Actually, there is one person who has seen me act this way and i never remembered doing it. This happened probably 20 times over the 2 months that i knew him. Also, I'm 22 and 23 in June.

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