Is it normal to have a mum who doesn't compliment or show any love?

Dear, I feel sorry for you. Here' my little humble advice and I wish it helps:

It sounds like that your mother has shown great partiality for your older brother but little care or love to you. You have tried very hard to please her but she isn't moved by you. From your words I can feel that you really love your mother, despite her coldness to you.

You have probably tried very hard and almost everything to please her, but the point of the problem is that, if she is essentially biased or hostile to you, then there's nothing you can do to please her. Can you understand what I mean? It doesn't depend on what you do. You have tried hard. It all depends on how she thinks of you.

I guess you probably don't know why your mother is so partial to your older brother and why she seems to be so aloof from you. But it's an important question. Would you be able to talk about this with your father or older brother or any relative? Anyone who may know the answer? I know it takes courage to be open up to someone, but finally it's a problem which people who don't know you, like me and the other people online wouldn't be able to help you to solve. Only yourself and those who know you well enough can.

There're many possible reasons behind your mother's abnormal coldness. It's possible that there's something you did when you were still an infant which irritated your mother. Or maybe you just simply somehow remind her of some of her dark memories, which makes her keep herself away from you. But these are just some examples of possible reasons I think of.

At any rate, I think you shouldn't keep doing things in order to please your mother or make her proud. If you want her to be proud of you, you have to be proud of yourself first. You may want to ask yourself what you would want to do and what would make you proud of yourself first. In the same way, if you want her to love you, you have to love yourself first.

Finally, I just want to say that there's no way to guarantee that your mother would be pleased. If she cares about you, she would be pleased no matter what you do. If she doesn't, she wouldn't be pleased no matter how good you are. But dear, you are so much more than that. I'm sure you're a good daughter/son. What you should do is to be who you are and do what you like to do. I believe that someday when you become greater or more successful, as time passes by she'd know how good you are and be proud of you.

It is for me Bro.

JenAus is right. You are not a mind-reader to know why your mother is like this. My own mother is the same but really didn't like one of my brothers. The only reason was, that she didn't like the look of him the moment he was born!! Nothing he could do about that but he always tried to make her love him. The truth is that she can't really love anyone and she doesn't love herself. So really I have just stepped back and let her get on with it.

I hope that you will be a great success and one day she will waken up to you and apologise. Sometimes parents boast about their children to other people whilst condemning them to their faces. Strange but true.

However, some day you may just decide it's not worth the effort if she never seems to be coming round. This was me, so I got my education and got out!