Is it normal to have a guilt after loosing virginity?

Well hello everyone !! I had a boyfriend and I thought that we both love each other a lot. We were in a relation for almost 5 months. But earlier we were friends too. One day he asked me to have sex but I totally refused him because being an Indian girl I am not allowed to do something like this. I am from a well educated family. And he's not. But still I loved him a lot. He later convinced me by saying that we both know that we'll marry each other so there's no problem in doing this. I was still not ready but I did because I feel he'll be happy like this. I trusted him a lot. He used to told me that I'll be with you always. He was not a virgin. And me too lost my virginity with him. Later my parents got to know about all this. And they were really sad and hurt. I really hurt them. Always feel bad about this. They went to my bf's home and asked him about our relation and he refused. He said we were not in a relation. I tried to save him till the end. And he just ditched me like this. But later he agreed about our relation. My mom asked that if u love her keep her with yourself and he said no. That was really hurting. He never loved me. Just used me like a chewing gum. Sometimes I really felt bad that my parents always loved me so much and I hurt them. And the person I loved ditched me. Why ?? Now each and everyday I feel really guilty as I am not a virgin anymore. And I hurt my parents a lot but they still love me. I feel as a good man don't deserve a girl like me. I feel so worthless.

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67% Normal
Based on 24 votes (16 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • yokohama

    Listen, first of all, you are not worthless and you've done nothing wrong. The entire concept of virginity isn't really real, you aren't dirty or "used" or impure. You are loved, you will continue to be loved, someday you'll find someone infinitely better than this guy you were with. He sounds like a real asshole, by the way, who didn't deserve you in the first place.

    And although you have done nothing wrong, remember this if anyone ever tries to coerce you into sex you don't really want again. Pressuring someone like that is majorly uncool and you shouldn't stand for it. You're worth so much more than that.

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    • ShArMa378

      Thank you

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  • NekoKitty

    It makes me so mad to hear about a man like this! He left you after having sex with you? He's a bastard, and I'm sorry I said this if you still have feelings for him.

    (And some cliche advice) About losing your virginity, it's a choice people make and some people regret it, some don't. It is completely normal in this case, and in any case.

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    • ShArMa378

      He did sex not only once. Did many times with me. And most of the time I was not even ready. But still I loved him. I used to think that he cannot control himself. But the truth was he just wanted to use me as much as he could do before ditching me. And I don't have feelings for him since he said all this. I said to my parents that he loves me a lot. I tried to save him till end so that he would not suffer. I keep my promise but he didn't. Now I am afraid too that he'll not do anything wrong again as my parents went to his parents home. It will again make my parents suffer. :(
      I always think that how much I loved him even he was not so handsome, not studying properly, was also not financially strong. I always helped him financially also even though I also not have so much money. I never told this to anyone not even my parents as he'll be in problem and people may think wrong of him.

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  • GGGGGGGGGGG

    Totally agree with yokohama. Virginity is just a weird cultural thing that most of our cultures place some value in. You haven't done anything wrong and will definitely find a better partner than him!

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    • ShArMa378

      Thanks

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  • RoseIsabella

    Loosing your virginity, huh? Your choice of words put the image of stampede of cattle branded with a big letter V on each of them. Or better yet, you could "cry havoc and let slip the dogs of..." VIRGINITY!!!

    Okay, enough of my smart ass attitude. That guy was a piece of shit jerk! I am truly sorry that he manipulated and took advantage of you. I guess all you can really do apologize to your parents and yourself as well. Just out of curiosity, how long did you know this bastard before all of this stuff transpired?

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  • GG19

    Its normal since your hart them to feel guilt but a good guy would still be lucky to habe you (i know theres some culture difference) but we all mKe mistakes one day you will find a GRATE GUY to marry you and your past wont meaan as much to him as your twos future.

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