Is it normal to have a crush on a teenage girl when im 39?

i'm a 39 year old male who's developed a crush on my sister in laws 16 year old niece. i first use to see her around when she was 11 when she'd come to parties my brother and his wife would throw and she'd of course arrive with her parents. i never payed much mind to her then cause normally i don't got much business socializing with kids as so. through the years she's gotten older and has matured as much as a 16 year old girl does and i've began to notice how attractive she's gotten. well as of a year ago i was employed by her parents to babysit a second child of there's, her 5 year old younger sister; not only that but i was then asked that she'd be keeping me company as well. her and i would have long good conversations and she was a blast to get along with and joke around with but i've always tried to see her as a kid and also somewhat of a niece by law. i've never flirted with her and when we do talk i'm always cautious with things i talk about to her. i do get turned on by her though but keeping that in my mind is as far as that will go. anyway we sometimes might chat on face book and every time i come to a family party that she will too attend it is her and i who end up spending the most time with each other there. i've always been fond of her in an innocent way but recently i've been thinking about her alot and feel this desperate need to want to see her again just to be around her. i feel jealous sometimes when she talks about other boys she might like in school or other guys who might like her. i try not to look at her pics on facebook but sometimes i can't help it cause i desire seeing her. i'm damning myself cause i'm not someone who's into young girls normally. i don't want to feel this way about her cause it's so inappropriate. it's a crush i have that hurts me and i'd like to get past it and find a distraction, better yet to fall for a woman close to my age. what i'm asking is am i considered odd to be feeling this way for this girl?

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 84 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • sky915

    Um i dont really know what to say to this D:

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  • Lockets

    I am sorry to say that while I can understand your attraction to her as a soon-to-be young woman, your infatuation has to stop. If I was a 16 year old, I would be very creeped-out if I knew that family member of 39 years was attracted to me.
    It is fine for you both to get along in a friendly way but you seem to like her in a 'different' way.
    Stop looking at what she's up to on Facebook and leave her to grow up naturally.
    It may be painful for you now, but in the long run you will be glad that you didn't let her dominate your thoughts.
    She has her own life to live, and so do you!
    Best wishes.

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  • tellmeimwrong

    People are being too nice, your a sick bastard

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  • Robinhood

    Does " JAIL" ring a bell in your mind? If not, it should. Please stop checking out her facebook etc...and let her be a kid that she is. If you had a 16 year old daughter, would you want a 39 year old man hitting on her? You are right in thinking you need to find a woman closer to your own age to distract you from this. Good luck and if this obsession continues please get professional help.

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  • Charle44

    Doesn't matter if it's normal or not. (It is, by the way. I'm 44. It's called a midlife crisis.) What matters is that you don't act on it, and get your head out of that place. Feeling guilty won't help. Looking at her pictures won't help. And the babysitting thing has to end, no question about that. What you need to do is think about how ridiculous this attraction is, and how gross guys look when they're hitting on a girl half their age. Picture how badly it'd screw up her life and yours if you ever acted on it. Realize that you are, to some extent, sidelining her from a healthy h.s. experience by hanging around. Girl doesn't want to look back on her life and realize that she got mixed up with a relative when she was a teenager. And you and her are kind of mixed up already.

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  • Leave you feelings as feelings and don't act on them, you know its wrong. Try distancing yourself from her and date around, maybe you are just lonely and long for female attention.

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  • Cuntsiclestick

    Since you obviously have no intent in acting on it, then I will say normal. In time, your crush may on her may fade away and you'll have nothing to worry about.

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  • Avant-Garde

    If anything, wait until she's of age... I don't really know what else to say :o

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    • But they are related! Its a double foul

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      • Avant-Garde

        Oops! Read that wrong! Ignore my previous comment then. O_0

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  • iamre321

    Considered not as normal nowadays by society, but its pretty common check out my question:

    There's this girl that I've sort of developed feelings for recently. Our families have been friends for a long time, but I've never really thought of her as like any thing other than a little sister until recently. She's going through puberty right now, and has gotten very pretty lately. She was always really mature, nice, and smart and really the type of girl that I like, but there's a big age gap between us- I'm 20 and she's 12. I feel really really bad for feeling about her that way, but I can't stop thinking about her lately.

    To be honest I'm just a regular guy, most people would say I'm decently attractive, and pretty easy going, but I've honestly never had a girlfriend. I've always been too busy or just never meet the right girl. Throughout middle school and high school many of the girls I knew were really mean and would often tease,spread rumors ,etc... Now in college its still similar- many of the girls I meet are pretty shallow. It's always either the girls I meet have a good personality but not physically attractive to me (guess that makes me shallow too) or vice versa. I know nothing would ever happen between me and her, and she probably doesn't feel the same way, but I still can't help but imagine what it would have been like if I were her age going to the same school as her, or just taking her somewhere on a date like to the movies or carnival or something. I'm not sure, I usually don't feel this way about people and feel really bad that I feel this way about her but I can't stop thinking about her.

    There seems to be a couple of us in similar situations...

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    • iamre321

      Although 39 might be pushing it though... You can remain friends but DO NOT MAKE A MOVE as others have also been telling me for my situation...

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  • Zion

    Don't do it, you'll ruin your relationship with that girl FOREVER.
    As in, she'll AVOID you in any means possible and would NEVER want to be around you ever again. She'll find it gross and disturbing.
    I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just being completely honest.

    Try to get closer to her in any way more than family and you'll lose her permanently.

    You're just craving for an attractive woman that would spend time with you.

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  • sperry80

    This reminds me of Lolita.

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  • tuttlenotbuttle

    all of your advice is much appreciated and deeply considered, especially the one that hit hard. the situation i'm in is something i shouldn't see lightly and take very seriously. for starters i've taken the step of unsubscribing to any pics or comments she might post on facebook where i might see. i know it seems harsh but it does help, if she's out of sight, she's out of mind. also as every day passes the next gets easier to deal with and i feel less infatuated over her.

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  • Smash-Tastic

    Shes too young.

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals

    It's normal. And in many countries 16 is legal. As for the poll I didn't click because you ask at the very end 'is it odd' while the button asks 'is it normal' so it's ambiguous. People should formulate their questions better.

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  • thinkwithlogics

    You seem waayy into her thats scary!! You sound like u close to doing something stupid.Leave that jail bait alone bro,go find a women your age so u can get your mind away from the gutter.Looking at young girl and all the good women in the world.Dont get to the point of no return!!Find a women your age!!

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  • Tarkio

    It's normal. Everyone at 16-18 is attractive. Even if they have plain features. And, they are not yet brittle, saggy, or worse bitter.

    But do not think for one moment she would respond to you as an equal. She doesn't have the maturity! C'mon! get your head out of the hormonal bucket (not to mention the relative bucket). You are old enough to be her father and if she was your daughter would you want a 39 year old man hulking around her with sexual desire?

    Do not "babysit". This is a jailbait warning.

    There are plenty of woman your age that are beautiful, funny, full of life, and have the ability to understand you. A woman that you could really talk with, not just a
    nothing- to -lose pretty girl who is simple and thus easy to laugh with.

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  • Imsupernormal

    Just bang her already you pussy.

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  • KeddersPrincess

    Well, I actually read that in order for it to be pedophilia, they have to be under the age of 15, so I won't go into calling you a pedophile, however, it's still illegal to do anything with her, so I'd watch myself around her.

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