Is it normal to hate your mother and brother??

She may be on drugs... Because people don't automatically start acting like that.
Not to mention, this is a very different generation from what you grew up in. Kids think it is the thing to outright disrespect what their parents do for them.
Of course, you need to stop babying her because you are just a catalyst in the issue. She uses you because she knows that she can.
I would suggest seeing if she is on drugs, though before anything else because I'm sorry, even teenage girls don't act that bi-polar all the time.

Holy Crap!! You poor thing. I know how you feel I had 4 daughters and 2 of them treated me the same way.

this should not be happening but i know someone who does it its not good for your kids to act like that and you have to try and fix it before its to late heare are some things that mite help

1) buy an alarm clock for her make her wake up and if she doesnt Dont wake her up leat her miss school till she figureswut the deal is and punish her everytime she is late

2)stop doing everything for them both just stop yes your going to have to hear alot and your gonna have to be strong theyre going to push you to your limits to make you do everything and dont tell them that your evil plans on how to regain control :) the issue is not them its you and your the only one who can fix things be strong

When I was 17 I hated my mom. She even kicked me out of the house once. I was a good girl, excellent grades and stuff but I just couldn't agree with her on anything. I think it was a teenage thing. I am 21 now and we have the best relationship, 3-4 years ago I never thought my mom would become my best friend.

I think you just have to be patient but also have a different approach on your kids. My mom was never mean and was always hugging me and telling me how much she loved me, she gave me advice and stuff, but she also taught me to love community service, which in turn taught me to be grateful for everything I have, including my family. We were the kind of family giving clothes to the poor since I was 4 years old, visiting school, recycling, etc. That really made me conscious about others and formed me as an empathic person.

Now, I always think about her first, call her, try to clean for her so she doesn't get tired.

(: Hope this helps.

^^some of the best advice I've ever seen on here. Totally agree with joybird

Of course she hates you at this time coz she is so superior to you, as you are acting like a doormat!! Stop it!!

You must prepare your children for adulthood, not to be dependant on you. Tell her that you can hear her bad-mouthing so from now on, if she forgets anything for school - tough!! Do not answer your phone to find out about it. She needs to take some responsibility for her actions! She needs to take the time to sort her books before she goes to bed and if she can't get up, then she needs to go to bed earlier.

This rudeness may be nothing to do with you. There may be unrequited love, so she's lashing out at the closest weakest person. This makes her a bully but if it continues you will grow to resent her and all your sacrifices. Stand up for yourself now, and I always like to use reverse psychology.

Sit her down calmly and say, "I know you're not happy anymore living here, so if you want to move out, it's ok."
She will wet herself coz at the moment she thinks you adore her so much, you are her slave.

Tell her that if she doesn't want to keep her room tidy that's ok too - as long as she keeps the door closed at all times, doesn't bring friends round and doesn't ask you to buy her any new clothes etc to add to the clutter. Tell her she will have to do her own laundry too as you're not going to go into the room to sort out what's clean or dirty.

However, tell her that the next time she swears at you or about you, you will NOT be driving her ANYWHERE for one week. I did it for a month when my son said he hated me (at 6yo) and he missed birthday parties etc - he has never said it since!!

AND if the two of them decide to fight in the morning, tell them there will be no dinner made for them that evening. You still eat yours but I'm sure they're big enough to make something for themselves. If not, one night of starvation will hardly kill them and should teach them a lesson.

You had better start teaching them to respect you before this escalates into real abuse that you can't control.

You know better than I, what their weaknesses are and what you can withold from them for their disrespect towards you. They will admire you more for standing by your decision so don't drop it after a day or two!!

I have seen the problems weak women face with their teenagers - drinking, drugs, physical violence, disrespect, abuse, pregnancies, etc. You must prepare them to fly the nest and allow them to become adults.

I was exactly the same to my mum when I was younger than your daughter. I'm not a morning person and hated being woken up for school and I'd scream and throw tantrums. Believe me when I say this but I now feel like a complete bitch and can't believe the way I treated my mum! We are really close now and I call her one of my bestfriends, I've often apologized for the way I acted when I was teenager. Hopefully she will grow out of it but in my opinion it's just a teenage thing. Good luck and know that one say it will pass :)

you wanted to say it and meant it your daughter says it and doesnt mean it, thats my take on it