Is it normal to hate you family at 21?

Hi everyone!

I've had some problems back at home and I really seek for some quick insight from you guys and what you think of the situation I'm gonna describe.
I come from an overall nice family I'd say, they are kind, they gave me EVERYTHING, i had everything, seriously i can't say I was actually missing anything in my life, atleast material stuff. But I was always somehow different, if not otherwize, I'm gay and I'm okay with it. But I come from a rural place and religious family. They have accepted me, but I often feel how I'm the crazy one in the house. The one who thinks differently and will NEVER have a "normal" life. Heck, I don't want normal, I like it this way, I like that I think differently, but it hurts me, that my mother is able to say to me multiple times how she honestly thinks that there is something wrong with my personality, how my whole existence and is wrong. She seriously says that with an expression and voice that I know she thinks this way. Sometimes I get the vibes like she likes my "path I chose", but some other time she's feel pitty for me (i see the degrading look in her eyes) and she tells me that it's gonna be SO FUCKING HARD and how I better not show with this abomination at our family doorstep, after all NOONE SHALL KNOW!!! (As for me, I'm openly gay but casual, I'm nothing exaggereated) I've said some ugly things too in my life to her and to my family in general (for example last night, we were arguing and i said that I'm honestly happier with my boyfriend and my best friends in an appartment we have and how I'm literally DEPRESSED the moment get back home.). My mother had enough of it and started crying and she NEVER CRIES. I didn't. I'm sad because I deal with my family and people I shouldn't hurt this way, but I just can't get rid of the feeling how lonely and hopeless I am when I come home. Like this hollow house, full of regret and happy family, in which i'll never belong. But they've tried (every sunday they go to a trip but I never attend to it. I stay at home or something), I was the one who pulled back and just didn't want to be a part of the pathetic little ceremonies they had.(For example, i've been terrorized for one hour or 2 for not calling my grandparents to wish them a happy new year on the 1.1.2014)
Overall as you can see, everything in a way is perfect and good. I get money, i have a good boyfriend, i have friends, i'm okay at an university I'm attending to, but my feelings for my family, people I SHOULD love are mixed. Again, they gave me so much, but I don't even nearly feel like talking to them about my problems, about my life as it is. I know they would not even remotelly understand it. It's all wrapped up in some nice paper. My mother was a bitch for a long time in my life (just yelling, not doing things the way she wanted,constant terror for cleaning and all the shit about me not being good enough, something about me wasting my potential in the things i do and don't do. And my father never really was there emotionally, just some chit chat and money. They've got me to a point where is question my sanity AGAIN, to a point where i don't know anymore..am I narcistic bitch who cares only about myself and noone else? Cuz from time I am and I do like to work in a way that suits me. What can I say, I'm a reflection of my mother with the only difference I have no heart, no boundaries, nothing is holy to me, nothing REALLY worth fighting for. I feel like my world of illusions is falling appart. I feel lost. I packed my bags today and left home after just 1 hour spending there because of an argue I described above. Next monday is my birthday, I don't even know what to want for a birthday, it seems so useless. I have it all, what more would I want (except these, REALLY expensive stuff, that I can't ask my partents to buy lol) and they said I don't need to bother coming home until I start being good to them, yet the only solution I crave for is running FAR away alone, just me, where I can press reset button and live a happy life, where I actually CARE for people I love and just do life as I should. And for fuck's sake, I'll be 21. Can this already stop?