Is it normal to hate the way my friends care for their children?

86% Normal
22 Comments

Most of my friends and I are in our late twenties and have kids except for me. I've distanced myself from most of them on the guise of not liking kids. Really I don't like the idea that these people have kids at all. I can't stand watching any pregnant woman eat fast food on a regular basis or smoke which is something most of them tend to do. Then when the babies are born and grow up a bit their Mothers complain that their asthmatic kids only want to eat fast food, yeah hello it's because it's basically what they're made of. They only think they're great parents because their kids aren't hungry but if they really cared they'd step up.
I can't say anything either, I'll just the spiel on how I can't know and that I'll find out when I have my own kids. I can bring up any article, scientific study, etc. and even show it to them but they all just see it as me being ignorant. They'll say something like, "If you made as much money as you do now you'd feed your kids this stuff too!""Yeah, which is why you don't see me having kids right now and if I did I'd figure it out instead of throwing up my hands."
Many of them work shitty jobs that make it so they can barely afford to buy groceries yet still keep having kids or adopting pets. Their friends and family can see how badly they're doing but all seem to forget as soon as anyone says the word, "baby". Then it's all happiness until the baby starts to resemble a human being later on and they become a chore. I don't understand how anyone could be happy for them knowing that the kids they already have are going to be stuck suffering from their parent's bad choices, sometimes even having to take care of their siblings while Mom goes out which in my opinion is never OK.
Even my friends that are on their first kids only seem to be having them because they want a baby to dress in cute outfits, not something they will need to raise. I'm 28 now and want to have kids very badly but if I were to get pregnant right now I'd sprint to the nearest abortion clinic because of the kind of life that would be waiting for them; It would be selfish of me to only see my child as a motivational tool. I'm going to get ready to have kids, not just financially, but in every way. I just wish I knew someone that would do the same, to me that is truly a great parent.

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 110 votes (95 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • englishcowboy81
    11 years ago | pl

    It gets me people say their kids won't eat veg or won't go to bed in their own bed at a sensible time.... Hello mine do coz we didn't back down and they had proper food not fast food

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    You know what? I feel the same way.

    I have friends that have gotten pregnant because "I didn't feel like using a condom" (Plan B is a myth), because the pill is a myth, because they were too drunk to remember the condom... one who did it to "feel like an adult" and the other who did it because all of her friends were getting attention...

    To watch they drink, do drugs and smoke while pregnant just angered me. Their friends would defend them with cheap excuses like "she's depressed" or "I did this or that while pregnant and the baby turned out fine" well autistic, asthmatic and mentally retarded is NOT fine. They celebrate when the baby comes out in one piece but sometimes the damage takes years to finally show itself.

    It's uncanny the way you say it... once the word "baby" is mentioned, they're excited but once the baby comes along they're a burden. It's true. I don't know why but it's true. It's upsetting to watch my friends act like their kids are just some money pit and mouth to feed, doing the bare minimum to be called a parent. I watch it and I hope I'd never end up like that if I became a parent, where I consider "parenting" to be naught but putting some cheap food in their mouths, putting some clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads and the occasional visit to the doctor for their asthma meds and shrink for their latest diagnosis.

    I hope I never become that parent, the one that shoves sugary snacks down my kids' throat and wonders why they can't sit still in class, keeps them in the house all day and never spends time with them, only talks to them when I want them to do something and wondering why they don't respect me or respond well, socially... Maybe there's some chemical that's released that will turn me from who I am now to someone who doesn't give a fuck when I have kids, maybe I'll get worn out and give up. For fuck's sake, I hope I don't end up like them.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    Where i come from, fast food is a delicacy... So my kid don't get it that often.

    To be honest, it seems a little unnatural to me to start having kids when you're 30. I think at 28 you should be able to step up and be a good parent without getting an abortion and waiting until the time is right. You'd probably do much better than me, who had a baby at 20. If I had took more precautions, I would be playing that waiting game too, but i'm happy the way things worked out. I had her young enough to be able to remember what its like to be a kid and i think that had made me a pretty good parent (though i have my flaws).

    And yes its normal to judge your friends who have kids. I still cannot fathom how an old friend of mine gave her kid away to her sorry baby's daddy's mom without a second thought. But remember, you are judging them, which isn't very good.

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  • kingsleycrowne
    11 years ago

    I agree wholeheartedly. I really feel like alot of people in my generation are overly idealistic about kids, have them because their biological clock is ticking or out of the envy of others who have kids, instead of weighing up whether they are prepared and financially able to raise a child properly.

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    I don't know if I'll ever have kids or not. I've heard from several people that you're never truly ready for kids until they get here. Once they're here though, they become your whole world. They give you something to live for.

    I think you'll be better prepared than most by the sound of it because you've had the opportunity to observe others' mistakes and learn what not to do. You will make a good parent. If you know for sure that you DO want to have kids though, be sure not to wait until it's too late.

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  • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
    11 years ago

    I give my kids cigarettes.

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    • Ginapuffs
      2 years ago

      I give mine cigarettes too

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    • coolio75650932
      11 years ago

      FUCK YOU! YOU DAMN FATHER FUCKER!

      see what i did there? i raged...dont see that from me very often.

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      • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
        11 years ago

        Relax with a Marlboro.

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        • coolio75650932
          11 years ago

          Nah I'm trying to quit after I beat cancer...

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          • Ghost-of-the-Marlboro-Man
            11 years ago

            Lies, just like all the stuff on your profile.

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  • 0404
    11 years ago

    What your friends are doing is not right or ok.

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  • noid
    11 years ago

    Time to find new friends...

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    • coolio75650932
      11 years ago

      FUCKING SHIT NOT YOU!

      *hides pizza*

      holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit.

      *sprints to elevator*

      im gonna deliver this fucking pizza!

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  • loopoo
    11 years ago

    Yes, I worry for the future.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Bad coding

    Unable to compile the data required to answer this question.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    I don't agree at all with this kind of thinking. In my opinion all that you have said OP is out of jealousy.

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    • Nectur
      11 years ago

      In what regard?

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      • kelili
        11 years ago

        I think that all parents make mistakes and I believe that it is easier to judge when you're not in someone's shoes. Will fast food make the children stupid or whatever? Does buying nice clothes for your kids because you want them to look good make you a bad parent? Does all that OP knows all that goes on in those home there're describing? People should not be so harshly judge on petty things like that. Yes, petty details. So in my opinion as there is nothing which really tells that those parents are bad parents my conclusion is that the OP either just wanted to create a poll or is a frustated jealous spinster.

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        • Nectur
          11 years ago

          Yes, fast food can be harmful to a CHILD because they're brains are still developing. It's no secret that if fast food is to be consumed at all, by anyone, it should only be on occasion. I'm not sure where you live but I'm in America where the FDA cannot legally intervene if food corporations want to slowly poison people to death to save a few bucks. That kind of thing is not fake and it's not a secret either. No one, least of all innocent children that are at the mercy of their parent's bad decisions, should be depending on that kind of diet because they're parents are lazy. Yeah, I said lazy because no matter how tired or broke you are the health and well-being of you're children should always come first!
          Those types are details are not petty, they're the reason so many people these days are suffering from chronic health problems, learning disorders, emotional deficiencies, and things that will show up when the child is an adult. You know, an adult? The things babies grow into!? Are you going to take responsibility for those types of problems you ultimately caused or are you going to shrug it off because "all parents make mistakes"!
          Your not living in the fucking dark ages, you're online, with access to information from all over the world. Anyone can know exactly where to find the best food, education, parenting techniques, and whatever else and instead they're not. Instead they're making excuses so they don't have to change, even if it's for the benefit of their own children that they claim to love so much.

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          • kelili
            11 years ago

            Pfffff

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            • Nectur
              11 years ago

              That's what I fucking thought.

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