Is it normal to hate myself?

71% Normal
10 Comments

Well, to put it simply, I really hate my personality, my childhood, and how act in situations. Due to the environment I grew up in, especially without a father or father figure, my personality changed. I lost all of the confidence I had as a child and became very timid. I am very antisocial because, well, being around other people stresses me out. I hate that I cannot "man up" in certain situations and just run away.

Surprisingly I have a girlfriend that loves me very much, but I feel like she should find someone else because it is just a hassle to be with me. She gives me so much, but emotionally, I can't give back enough for her needs. I understand there are good things IN my life, but the problem is ME. If thought about this everyday then I would just be a depressed asshole all the time. The only thing I can do is just forget and push it off to some other day. IIN? What can I do to fix this?

PS. Comments will be much appreciated

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 42 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • PaulXavier
    10 years ago

    I hated myself for years, for similar reasons. Not man enough. I lost girlfriends, not because of that but because I kept expecting them to wake up one day and realize I was a pile of crap. I met a kid who reminded me of myself at that age. When I saw someone else who had the same qualities I did, he seemed like a really good person. What got me over it was forgetting about myself, and keeping busy. When I'm working, or putting someone else first, I feel like I'm earning all that respect I don't deserve. If you focus on your shortcomings, it's all about you. If you need to prove yourself find something you can do everyday for your girlfriend or your family. Do little things with a big investment of love, and crawl out from under that microscope. No one looks good under there.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Some people do. I *occasionally* go through periods of self-loathing. But, even though I don't feel that way often, I still think it's enough to understand how you might feel and I am sorry you feel that way about yourself. Here's a quote from an interesting article which might apply to you:

    "Maybe you do believe your partner values you, but just that you don't feel worthy of it. You feel that you know yourself much better than your partner does, and that it's "only a matter of time" before he or she discovers "the truth" about you. (If you do think like this, ask yourself: what gave your partner the idea that you were so fantastic to begin with? Did you just "appear" to be kind, charming, smart and attractive, or could some of that actually be true? Hmm...) You don't have to believe you're worthy, but you have to trust that your partner thinks you are, and that he or she can make the best choices for him- or herself. As I've discussed before, your care for your partner—wanting to "save" him or her from what you see as the burden of being with you—conflicts with the respect that you owe to him or her to make the right decision, even if you think that decision is misguided."

    Here's the link to the entire article:
    <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201110/self-loathing-and-relationships-believe-in-others-who-believe-in-you" rel="nofollow">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-j...</a>

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    • devil-in-skirt
      10 years ago

      every one worth to be loved

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    • Shackleford96
      10 years ago

      Wow, I really like that.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Me too, it's such a good article. I especially like this sentence:
        "You don't have to believe you're worthy, but you have to trust that your partner thinks you are, and that he or she can make the best choices for him or herself."

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        • Shackleford96
          10 years ago

          I believe that is true, even though I've not had much experience there.

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    • Ghostclaws
      10 years ago

      Thanks I really appreciate this comment. Im uploading this comment from my phone so I will have to look at that article later. However, that quote pretty much applies to me.

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Oooh, I'm glad you like it. (:
        It's a great article.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Yes sure why not.

    I hate you too.

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  • Faceless
    10 years ago

    Its not your fault. You didnt have to suffer. That was your idea.

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