Is it normal to hate my mother this much?

I don't recall my mother ever being loving, or caring. I remember the hatred start when we were still living with my dad serving in the military. She always complained about me, I could never do anything right, cleaning my room on my own accord without her bugging me to do it, etc. I couldn't even sleep right, waking up to getting my ass whooped, from a dead sleep to be spanked. The violence escalated after she had a cancer scare. A few short years later, her and my father divorced...that's when the hardware was introduced. Broomsticks, pans, metal spoons, grease, and even my toys were used as weapons. Dad wasn't safe, my mother convinced me that he screwed around while still married to her, even convinced me that her aggression towards me was not that bad. I was being brainwashed.
I started lying to my mother about after school programs, and going right to a gym, I got paid under the table to wash towels, clean mats, etc., and I had free reign to work out. This is when I was introduced to the world of MMA. She soon got remarried, and it calmed her down for a bit, and moved to a hole of a neighborhood. At 14, school was out for the year, and I was mowing lawns again, I enjoyed it. One particular old man I confided in told me I should give my father a chance, I liked him, he was an old grizzled Marine from WWII, I also trusted him. I spent the summer with my recently divorced dad to rebuild things. Little did we know it would be sooner that we would have to put things behind us.
My mother and I had a huge fight, I had a girlfriend, and boy, she lost it. This time there were knives, and other DEADLY objects involved. I managed to use her weight against herself, wasnt hard, she was drunk. I tried to diffuse the situation, even tried to leave, but my step-dad, equally drunk, refused to let me near the door. I felt a cold streak on my left arm, I turned to look, and I had blood pouring our of a large gash down my arm. I turned fast to look at my mother, who took another swipe and cut another 2 inch gash across my arm. She was going to kill me, I could see it in her eyes. It was her or me, I wasn't going to kill her, but I had to get out. She leaned in again to take another swipe, I saw my chance, and with everything I had, nearly took her head off. My step-dad fell forward, I stepped over him and left. I moved into my dads place a week later. I tried to call a few times, but I figured I would come by and say goodbye before I left for the military. That ended badly, she tried to get some payback on me for the jaw issue, I subdued her and left. The final straw happened 7 years later, I got married in 2005, and our little girl came 3 years after that. I decided to make one more attempt. I asked her to fly out to where I was living, and would even pay for the trip, to see my daughter. She gave me excuses as to why she wouldn't come! So, is this normal? Am I evil?