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I was raped by his father and I was young at the time so my parents made me keep the baby and now I think I hate my son I dont feel any love for him like I do with my other children. Is it normal for a mother to hate their own child? am I a bad parent?
Well I feel sorry for that child and you..you because I know you cant forget about that and the child because it's not his fault I know you hate his father but it is still your son & yess I agree your parents should not have made you keep your baby maybe adoption would have been a better option.. I think it might still be a good option since he is still young don't ask your family to care for him because then he'll just grow with that idea that he does not have a real family and wondering why his mom does not want him..with adoption atleast he'll have a family that actually wants him and loves him..just my opinion since there are soo many people that want another child including my parents..put him for adoption .. it's not his fault.!
Your child is their own person. Many children who's fathers abused their mother hate their father as well. Bare that in mind.
Don't hate the child! Don't forget a large proportion of a child's behaviour and chrachteristics depend on how they were brought up, since they have already been brought to the world under not so pleasent conditions, it's the last thing he needs his mother hating him too. Try not to think of the child as the product of rape, think of him as YOUR son
Or if needs be, seek professional help
It's very understandable, but as long as he's with you you should try not to blame him for something that is not his fault. PLEASE TELL HIM THAT YOU DON'T BLAME HIM FOR BEING ALIVE. Don't pass your justified anger on to him. It's a myth that people are an incarnation of their parents. It's also a myth that people's lives are determined by their genes. Every person is unique and will become their own special kind. What kind of person the kid will become depends a lot on the kind of childhood he gets. He should be with people who are able to give him the love he needs. It's not your fault that you can't. In everybody's interest, you should give him up for adoption OUTSIDE your own family. Be a good mother to your other kids.
no sweet heart you are not a bad parent.the only reason you may feel some resentment towards your child is because your parents did make you keep him. and it wasnt something you might have wanted to do.and if you were a bad parent, i dont think you would still have that child living with you. most parent would put it up for adoption or put it in the trash can. heck soem might even kill the child. but you didnt. which makes you a good parent. and trust me even though you think or may feel like the love for him/her isnt there, one day or at some point in your life, soemthing might happen and you will feel it. im not apefessional,yet anyways.the only way you can feel bad wbout not being a bad parent is if your hurting the child or neglecting him/her. and remember the child didnt rape you, your father did.
I'm sure you feel guilty for dumping all that on your child in the kitchen. The sad thing is that he may always remember those words. As you are the adult, you should be able to treat him with respect and kindness. He is not the object of your hatred and not to be blamed. The poor child will grow up confused and lonely without you. If I were you, I'd pretend for his sake, to be interested in his little achievements and keep in telephone contact. Maybe if you pretend for long enough it will come naturally to you some day.
God help you. This is an extremely hard situation for you, but don't destroy an innocent child coz of his evil dad.
You are a bad parent and need to pull your head in. If you hate your child then chances are he will hate the world and turn into a shit bag. Sure it is a fucked up world we live in but no need to make it worse.
id say its not normal but understandable y u feel this way but its irrational for u to take it out on your kid, u shud speak to a professional
If he is young than you might be able to find him a loving home. If not than you should realize that he is an innocent child that loves you.
This child or any child is not a product of anything. The child is innocent and their own person a child of God.
Please, love your child, he will be lonely, as he will grow up without a father.
I THINK THAT YOUR PARENTS WERE WRONG FOR MAKING YOU HAVE THIS CHILD, BUT TOO LATE FOR THAT. PUTTING ALL BLAME ASIDE, I HOPE THAT YOU ARE SEEKING HELP WITH THESE FEELINGS, START AT A FAMILY DR. HE WILL BE ABLE TO GET YOU STARTED WITH SOMEONE IN YOUR LOCAL AREA. THIS FAKE SITE IS NOT THE PLACE TO GET HELP WITH SOMETHING SO SERIOUS. GOD BLESS!
That child is a constant reminder of the abuse, and it just brings back bad memories. However, you should keep in mind that your child and his dad are two different people, and your child didn't ask to be born out of abuse. It's not his fault, please don't hate him. He is your son.
you care about this child. but this is not irrational care, therefore, it is not love. but at your will, you would do best to treat them like you would an animal. this maybe alarming to read, but here is more or less what i mean.
an animal will behave as it wants, and people respect that. even in irritational ways, thier owners feed them, shelter them, groom them, and here and there, animals are spoiled at few or more occasions. somehow, this routine brings simplicity, an people genneraly love simplicity. you will treat your child well, but simply, for only as long as it takes to aquire stronger relations.
must be very hard for you :-( I have 2 sons they were both produced in love but one of them is a little horror he hits me, plays up from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed, nobody wants to spend time with him like they did with my other son and sometimes I find myself hating him. Does your son look anything like you? you have to work on the good points.
MY son is six years old( looks just like his father) I hate that he dont look anything like me! I been taking therapy for seven years now and it still doesnt change my feelings towards my son. I gave him away to my aunt when he was 2 months old and I never bothered to see him again. I left my home town with my first born who was at the time 2 years old. My toddler and I moved out to california and here we started a new life. I meet my BF here a couple of years later and we made two beautiful babys. I was very happy until I got a call from my aunt a year ago! She was sick and couldnt care for the son I left with her. Something I didnt want to hear but anyways I had to go pick up my son from my home town I left so long ago cause it held bad memorys. I brought my son back to california with me and after that day...I changed! I never told my BF about my passed so it was hard for me to tell him at first. I spent most of my days in my room and the only time I would come outta my room and hang out in the living room was when my son was in school (mon-fri) 8am -4pm. When he came back from school I would hide out in my room. I barely ever talked to my son and when I did I would bark at him WHAT DO YOU WANT or YES and NO. I even told him one day when I walked into the kitchen and found him there eatting a snack... that I didnt like him because I was raped by his father and that he made me sad when he was around me, I told him that he looked just like his dad and that I couldnt be around him. I picked fights with my BF all the time and he didnt like what was happening in our house. I was mad all the time and I would keep myself locked up in my room. He called my family and asked if there was anyone that could take and care for my son! I got a call from my sister and she told me my BF called her. She said she would take my son for awhile so just last month I sent him to my sisters. I never want to see or bring him back to my home. I know it wasnt my sons fault for the rape but I cant not stand to be around my son. How can I forget something like that???
Your not a bad parent to be feeling this way but u have to realize it wasn't this child's fault that u were raped... Unfortunately ur child was a product if rape but he is still ur son... He is still a part of you and even though u obviously didn't want to have a child this way it happened... Have you thought of seeking the help of professionals?? They may be able to help you with these feelings ur having... I think it's best for you to seek help before ur son starts to realize that u dont live him the same... Children will begin to act out if they don't feel the same love that the others get... Hope everything works out for you!!!