Is it normal to hate it when people display affection towards me?

59% Normal
7 Comments

I get really on edge and freeze up, clench my fists, grit my teeth, screw up my nose etc when people hug me, even my parents. I also just seem to have this emotional coldness towards everyone. Can't empathize with them or anything. It adds on to how I feel when guys express interest in me. I identify as asexual, and it just gets on my nerves when people try to get close to me. I can't even tell my family that I love them, because I don't feel love/affection towards anyone, and it just annoys me when people ask if I'm alright, because I apparently look miserable but I'm actually happy/calm/anything but depressed. Can't help that I have a deadpan expression most of the time.

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59% Normal
Based on 115 votes (68 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • melloish
    11 years ago

    When I was younger, I would specifically avoid the family when they came over for holidays. They'd always go around and give everyone a 'hello' hug and kiss. I'd even leave early to avoid the tradition. In the eighth grade I almost got detention because a kid who liked me would constantly try to touch me, I eventually screamed and got in a lot of trouble. Something about the affection repulses me. Even now it's uncomfortable and almost unbarable to hug anyone. Although I can't force myself to return a hug, I can tolerate it.

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    • Featherclaw
      11 years ago

      Yeah, I force myself to endure my family's displays of affection, though I get really on edge when it goes on for longer than three seconds. It feels more like a threat than anything else.

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  • Mirai8716
    11 years ago

    I'm the same way. And I don't really know what to think of it :/ I tense up when people hug me and when someone says they love me, like a family member, I want to cover my ears because it annoys me. Especially since I have to say it back, and it's a big struggle for some reason. And my most dreaded question is "Are you okay?" or "Is something wrong?" I want to slap people when they say that.

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  • WordWizard
    11 years ago

    This is actually associated with OCD and other Anxiety disorders.

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  • joeydangerously
    11 years ago

    Sounds like you may have some mild form of Asperger's don't really know what to say as I think I have it mildly too. Have an unusually good memory for details just wanna be let be ya me too and my Mom was a super affectionate person so things were a bit awkward. No it's not super typical but it does happen. Not everyone can be good at displaying emotions in fact some display enough for themselves and everyone around them but not everyone. Perhaps you should look it up.

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  • Silivrin1
    11 years ago

    It's okay if you don't feel affection towards anyone or enjoy affection from others, although it may be hard for you to avoid it. You may just be a naturally unsympathetic, and that's okay as long as you're not unnecessarily mean or rude to anyone.

    Basically its okay to feel cold towards everyone, if that's the way you are naturally and prefer to be isolated. But you may hurt some people close to you with that coldness, and you should consider the effect you're having on the feelings of important people like your parents. It's okay not to love them, as long as you don't hate them!

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  • charli.m
    11 years ago

    I used to be exactly like that. I'm better now. I'm ok (mostly) with friends and family touching me, but anyone else? I flinch. Sometimes even the idea of someone touching me, or remembering someone touching me, will make me flinch or shudder.

    It helps to kind of force yourself to bear it...it's not really a socially acceptable thing in certain situations :(

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