Is it normal to hate her for what she has done to me?

First off, you need to do something about that self esteem. You set yourself up for a friendzone even before you really got to know eachoter.

"I told her not to get feelings, I didn't want to get attached to her and would never be good enough for her."
That's your own doing and there was no reason to do that. There's more than enough ways to tell someone you're not a great looker or anything and that you're nervous about that without slamming your own face into a brick wall and calling yourself a monster basicly.
If you tell her not to get feelings then don't be angry she sleeps with someone else.

You should have met as soon as she said she wanted to meet. No rolling around in low self esteem and trying to get "better". Just meet and see how it goes.
And don't ever be admitting to love someone you've never met, again your setting yourself up for disaster.

It is however her mistake to promise things she can't be sure of. She should have never told you that it doesn't matter at all how you look or whatever. But then again you set yourself up for that by being mister "I have no self esteem, i'm not good enough for you". At the time she was probably just trying to make you feel good, trying to make you get over yourself and just meet like she wanted to. The truth is she couldn't make the promise she'd be attracted to you if she never saw you before.

It's a very ugly thing that she made you feel like this. Because she knew well enough how sensitive you would be to it. But don't you think you put her in an impossible situation aswell? She knows well enough that she's gonna hurt you alot if after all this time and all the promises and all the love you's, that she has to tell you you're just not what she is looking for. She knows this, yet she has no choice but to tell you, because she can't force herself to feel otherwise and she can't lie about it.

Maybe she didn't tell you right away when you send the pictures because she didn't want to hurt you. Or maybe she just thought "i'm never gonna get him to meet me if I tell him and I WANT TO MEET HIM ANYWAY" ...and she'd probably be right. If she told you over text message you would have never agreed to meet, you would have never had a perfect date or had sex with eachoter.

Some things you simply can't promise someone over text message, and some things should be left for a face to face conversation. Never forget it. It's fine to say you have feelings for someone over text message. The next logical step is to meet up and see how it goes. It's not fine to admit love to eachoter over text message however, when you've never met the person.

She made mistakes by saying things she really couldn't promise or predict. But you set yourself up for all of it.
Don't assume you're the only one with the self esteem problems, alot of this must have been just as hard for her as it was for you. Yet you made her make the first move, made her make the decisions, made her feel responsible and now you're ready to rub it in and give her all the blame? Do you feel like that is fair to her?

You seem to be the one with the commitment issues, and you disguise that by setting yourself up in a way that people have zero expectations of you. Well the real courage lies in letting people have expectations of you and being able to meet those expectations without ruining your day to day life and developing an eating disorter because of the stress that gives you.

All things considered you did meet and had a nice date and had sex... you must have done something right don't you think? And I bet you learned alot from the whole experience. The trick now is not letting your own mind distort that memory into oblivion because your first impulse seems to be "enlarge the negative, excuse away the positive".

I know when girls turn a guy down they don't always try to be perfectly clear as to why and what they are feeling. They are usually very vague and that leaves room for guys like you and me to think, "oh I'm so ugly, or dumb, or lame, or everything. GAH!"

Don't trick yourself into thinking like that because it's not the truth. Turning you down on your looks DOES NOT MEAN you are in any way ugly. Think of all the times your friends said a girl was really hot and you didn't agree. Looks are just a matter of preference. She had a different image of you in her mind, probably one that fit her preference, and then through those pictures realized that you weren't the one to stay with. Her talking to you in the first place and having sex is proof enough that you are attractive. Just not her type though. And that happens all the time. You can't blame her for having a certain type she wants to be with.

Now her leading things along and saying everything was ok when it wasn't and going back and forth with you is a little ridiculous. Nobody likes that feeling. However that happens too. We are human and thus indecisive and unsure about what we want and what we should do.

Don't let the way girls go about dating make you lose confidence in yourself. You are obviously perfectly capable of meeting girls. It will just take a little more looking.

Meeting people online is tricky. I would say to avoid it and if and when you do try to meet in person before either of you develop feelings. Meeting someone online, talking to them on the phone and developing feelings when neither of you know what the other looks like is a recipe for trouble, hurt feelings and regrets.

Try to meet chicks in person then you won't have this problem. Also don't go with drunk chicks. People tend to look better in the eyes of bored, lonely and horny drunks so if you sleep with a drunk person and then the next morning when they're sober they regret having slept with you and decide they're not attracted to you well you only have yourself to blame in that scenario.

A post this long that's actually coherent.

Forget the bitch and just move on

Doesn't matter had sex.

You need to find her and destroy her.

What kind of sick person does that?

I'm normally pretty calm about these things but let me be a bit short on this one. This is very "normal" to feel this way but STOP feeling bad about yourself, right now preferably. This girl clearly didn't like you enough to get passed whatever silly expectations she had of you when she viewed that picture and was fickle enough to change her mind right after that. She didn't even deserve to be kissed or have sex but guess what, she got that out of you anyway.

I don't think you should have met up with her and did those things even though she told you she wasn't interested. To turn someone down, have sex with them, and reject them still afterwards is the lowest of the low. Cut contact with this person if you haven't already and proceed to love yourself and your worth because fickle and lying girls like that are not good for anyone. Be the strongest man you can be and fine tune yourself to not break a leg to please someone and the right girl with serious intentions will show up soon enough. Do not hate yourself as her opinion is worth the same value as the countless feces that swirl down toilets.

She sounds really shallow to be honest and that was mean for her to lead you on. I promise you can do better and you shouldn't be so upset and self conscious over one girl who isn't even worth it :)

She's not into yoy but that dosen't mean you are unattractive. You'll be attractive to someone else.

Bitches will do that. I think the idea of online dating websites is great, and is a good way to find the best match, but unfortunately WAY too many people abuse it, lie, and have no intention of starting a relationship with their matches. My sister tried it, and the first few guys seemed great during the day, and they'd text each other, but then at night all they wanted was some booty when they hadn't even met in person yet. So she cancelled that nonsense, pay for a membership so that they can prostitute you out website (match.com, which doesn't even match you with people you are compatible with or even asks any worthwhile questions to find a compatible match)