Is it normal to hate getting negative advice back?

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Is it normal to hate when people give negative advice back? Like when I ask people advice and they give me negative advice back I just stop talking to them cause it makes me feel like total shit and it hurts. I mean I like hearing advice from someone who can relate to me and feel sympathetic and that understands what I'm saying.

I feel like if you don't understand or can relate then you shouldn't give advice cause it only makes it worse. I feel like you should only give advice if you relate or can help them until they feel better.

I mean if you really want blunt advice then you can ask for it but most of them time all I really want is positive feedback so I don't feel like a weirdo or hurt afterwards. I feel like when people go to people for advice they want a friend and an open ear not someone to make them feel worthless. Can anyone relate?

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Comments ( 12 )
  • howaminotmyself
    9 years ago

    You need to suck it up and not let it affect you so. Not all advice should be sugar coated to give you warm fuzzies. Ever hear of tough love? If all you ever received was fake affirmations and only heard what you wanted to hear, you will basically be living in a world of delusions.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    You're asking for affirmation and understanding and that's fine but sometimes it's the tough shit that you need to hear. Don't surround yourself with yes men. In this life, you're going to make bad decisions as a given and you really need to hear different perspectives because, who knows, maybe some of that harsh and cold advice is right and you're wrong.

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    • cosmictripster
      9 years ago

      I agree with you but you can give straight advice about something dumb someone did without being an asshole about it. That being said there are times where being blunt and harsh are necessary.

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        9 years ago

        Your idea of being an asshole may be someone else's idea of being blunt...

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        • cosmictripster
          9 years ago

          Good point. And I wasn't trying to call you out as an asshole I just meant in general in case I came off as an asshole.

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            9 years ago

            I understand, no worries.

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  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    This might be the wrong website for you...

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  • seekelp
    9 years ago

    All feedback can be at least somewhat conductive if you listen in the right way.

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  • dirtybirdy
    9 years ago

    Thats your problem if you feel worthless because you didn't get smooshy soft advice every time. Do you also think that there are no losers? Everybody wins, right!? Barf and bullshit! This generation of kids is a bunch of fuckin sissies!

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  • Terence_the_viking
    9 years ago

    Gotta take the rough with the smooth.

    Sometimes people being truthful can hurt.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    There's a right and a wrong way to deliver negative feedback, and I hope my comment will be an example of the former.

    When my mom has negative feedback for me, she's really shitty about it. I'm a pretty strong person but she's able to make me literally feel like crap and almost abandon whatever I was looking for advice on. But other people I know, like my boyfriend, will draw me out on why I feel the way I do about it- let's say it's about moving out next month- and he'll pause for awhile to think and then say something like "I think it would be a good idea to save more money first, just in case." Whereas my mom would say something like "That is such a STUPID idea, you've never lived alone," etc etc. Both are technically "negative", but one is ridicule, and one is gentle good advice.

    Ignore the crass, ugly words of people who are just trying to hurt you, and try and listen openly to the rest, without defensiveness. Otherwise you're only going to listen to people who tell you "yes" constantly, and that's no different than just going by your on opinions anyway, isn't it?

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  • Dazed_dreamer
    9 years ago

    For me, I always and only go to my bestie for advice because he knows me better than I know myself even when he cant relate to my situation. If I went to my mom, it would somehow turn into a lecture that has me rolling my eyes.

    most of the time my decisions arent even based on any advice that im given, it goes through one ear and out the other unless its helpful.
    I say choose wisely who you turn to.

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