Is it normal to handle a breakup this way?

59% Normal
7 Comments

My ex and I had a strange end to our 2.5 year relationship. It was all the usual problems with long distance. She stopped contacting me and started visitng me less. Intimate time disappeared completely and I eventually supported the relationship on my own. But the strain hit me hard and I was in a bad place in my life. Everything fell apart from there.
When we broke up there was no contact between us. We texted each other one month after the breakup, but were too confused to provide any closure between ourselves. There has been no real contact til 2 months ago when I texted her just to see how she was doing. We've been broken up for nearly 2 years now.
Don't get me wrong, I still dearly love this woman. I'm just wondering if I handled this the normal way? Was it wierd that I never tried to get her back even though I really love her?
On a sidenote, would it be wierd to try and get her back in the future? We really loved each other and as far as I know, depsite the massive issues we went through with the distance and such, we were both loyal to each other. Everyone loved us as a couple and my family is on really good terms with hers (but she's never home anymore, college and all that). I want her to be the one I marry, I just know that it can't work as long as this distance is pushed between us

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 46 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • floodimoo123
    12 years ago

    Just wait a little longer. If she really loves you like you love her, she will come back. I'm currently in a long distance relationship, and it's hard, but we truly love each other. Trust me, if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.

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    • Mmmpfh
      12 years ago

      Thanks. :]
      And I know exactly what you mean. Long distance gets so taxing over time. Neither of us had no experience with relationships before, so I think this was a key factor in our fall.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    It's been two years and you did most of the work.

    I mean think about it - TWO YEARS and she didn't even try to find out if you were even alive?

    You may want to consider that getting back with her might not change anything. If she couldn't even make an effort to say "hi" once in a while, how much did she really love you?

    Sure you love her lots ... but if she gave you nothing back for so long, it's time to consider that most of the love between the two of you... is more about what you feel for her, vs what she feels for you.

    And yes - some people will try to convince you that it can work... that if you love someone a lot it will be enough to compensate if they don't love you back much... but what it's really going to do is drain you.

    be very careful if you go back into a relationship. you deserve someone who makes an effort for you

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    • Mmmpfh
      12 years ago

      I hate saying it but ya, we both knew I loved her more than she loved me. And we both knew this at the highest point in our relationship. We still had an amazing bond, and we both talked about how we were going to get married and blah blah blah.
      I know, for a fact, that she loved me. And knowing that I can easily say the breakup hurt her deep too. But that said, I know I took this alot worse, and I know I need to move on. I'm just terrible at meeting people. Very introverted. And in fairness I've only contacted her properly once since we broke up, but ya, 1 is still a higher number than 0.
      I've just no idea how strong her love is. Thoroughly confusing situation. I appreciate your comment, despite the harsh truth behind it, it's somewhat comforting.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        that's likely because... many people already know the truth. whether or not they agree with it.

        and sure being alone can suck but... it's also good for you - gives you time to sort out who you are again.

        just remind yourself that you deserve someone who loves you enough to make things work

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        • Mmmpfh
          12 years ago

          Mm, I've had plenty of time to sort myself out. New job, doing better in college, more money, looking slightly more attractive than before and more confidence in myself. Obvious improvements from the past. I just have to get her off my mind now...

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  • Faceless
    12 years ago

    Go for it Connect 4!

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