Is it normal to grieve the loss of a child that was never conceived?

39% Normal
10 Comments

Lately I have been having thoughts about the child I never had. 2005 was a real bad year for me and I was desperate to be loved, so I wanted to have a baby. I researched ways of having a baby as a single mother, but I never took the steps to make it happen. I know it wouldn't have been a good time to have a baby, but I feel so guilty about it. My gut instincts tell me it would've been a boy. Evan was the first name that entered my head, so that's the name I've given him. I keep thinking about how he would've turn six this year and I think about what his personality would've been like. I feel so guilty for not giving this little guy life, but then I feel crazy for grieving the loss of a child that was never conceived. So is this normal?

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 92 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • Ldizzy1234
    12 years ago

    I think you regret that you didn't have him. And thats normal. You just really want a baby.

    Maybe you should give it another try. But really look into it this time, and really take the steps, because it sounds like you really want one.

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  • Paroxysmal
    12 years ago

    Is it normal to form an attachment to a fictional character? Yes, it is, and that seems like what has happened to you.

    It seems like you obsessed over filling a hole in your life and created this fantastical character, Evan, and obsessed over him, forming a very real bond with a very fictitious character, which is akin to how people get attached to characters in books, movies, and et cetera. If my very uninformed and illogical assumption is correct, then it's completely normal.

    That mixed with regret for never bringing your character to life when it was sort of possible would explain your feelings pretty well. In my opinion, at least.

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  • NormalIsOverratedBeANinja
    11 years ago

    So do you think that this character has been developed in your mind to the point that, if you were to have a baby boy now, you would hesitate to name him Evan because of your what-if baby? If you would, it's probably bordering on not normal. Only bordering, though - I'm not going to call you definitely crazy either way, because I've had thoughts like this myself, though not as highly developed or long-term as yours.

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  • emilydoll
    12 years ago

    That is a bit odd.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    i dont like the preoccupation with this, its a dead end road

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago

    Yes it's really normal. Every choice that you make, even small choices effect your whole future. Try to have a baby now. If you regret not doing it before you still have a chance.

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  • SweetSherry
    12 years ago

    Its sad if you want a baby so much just do it or you'll be living with "what ifs" forever

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  • sprite
    12 years ago

    reality check here! you might have these feelings, but you know it's not normal, so best you deal with it as quick as you can. stop yourself thinking about it, find a distraction like a relationship.

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  • aussiewolf
    12 years ago

    no i dont think this is normal. if you actually got pregnant and then lost it then yes, grieving would be normal. but not just because you made someone up in your head.

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  • BoredGuy
    12 years ago

    retard

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