Is it normal to go crazy from a few drags on a spliff?
Ok...I have been doing chemical based drugs for several years now and always have a good time and am in control of my marbles.
But Whenever I do cannabis with my friends - after a few tokes they are all relaxed chilling out - but I intensify and start struggling with my consciousness and it is quite literally a living nightmare. It feels like i am being possessed and i have to fight with myself to stay sane. To elaborate...
I start to link random incidents that occur in the room together as if everything now has some kind of universal thread linking everything together and I am searching for it. for instance my mate laughs... I imagine the letters 'HA, HA' coming out of his mouth, in my head these morph into the numbers '8''8'. I then look around the room and see 8 people. I start to panic... the 8th person gets up and comes sit down next to me... i start thinking he may be some kind of force of evil.
My deepest darkest most evil thoughts and philosophies start to work themselves into incidents in the room. And this continues...I am not religious and dont believe in hell but I start to believe i am wandering around through the personfication of evil. I feel trapped in an imagination - a parallel universe.
I snap back to reality briefly then start to go under again, then back again. I start to feel tiny electric pulses in my finger tips and in my bottom lip. Im scared to pass out as i feel i will not wake up again. I want to cry out for help but I cant as everyone is stoned and you dont wanna look like a dick.
The paranoia thoughts space out further and further apart until you level out and gain total sanity. You vow never to put yourself through it again...
What is going on here? why is everyone else in the room fine but not me? Is my brain wired differently? Do i have a stronger imagination? Why is it a physical drug for everyone but a mental one for me? I need answers!!