Is it normal to get really upset if your wife sees a male physician?

38% Normal
16 Comments

I am typically a very open minded guy, but I cannot stand the idea of my wife seeing a male physician. She understands and accommodates my weird quirk as best she can, but thinks it's a little nuts. I've worked with docs for thirty-five years and know who they really are behind the professional veneer, so maybe that's part of my issue. Does anyone else get worked up about a male doc seeing your woman naked, inserting fingers into her orifices, squeezing her breasts, etc. I get all the rational as to why it should be a non-event, and am not interested in rehashing them. I just want to know if anyone else feels as I do.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 40 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago | pl

    Absolutely not. I can't see either the doctor or the patient finding anything sexual in an office examination. Does she require you to see only male doctors when you get a prostrate exam? Do you get all turned on when the doctor sticks his finger up there?

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    • dasugaknows
      9 years ago

      I wouldnt be shocked if he does.

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    • healthcarepro
      9 years ago

      It's prostate, not prostrate. I don't "make" her do anything. She respects and is considerate of my feelings and chooses to only see female docs whenever possible.

      By the way, almost no healthy man under 55 gets a digital prostate exam any more. A PSA blood test is adequate to determine if a digital exam is required. If I did need a digital I would not select a female provider.

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      • thegypsysailor
        9 years ago

        You are absolutely right, my mistake, unless you prefer your prostate exam, prostrate.
        Last I heard, from a surgeon, was the PSA test was unreliable and useless; about 10 years back. Perhaps things have changed?

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        • healthcarepro
          9 years ago

          LOL Bent over the table with your pants around your knees, actually. Very dignified!

          PSA is almost universally accepted as the appropriate screening modality for men under 55, per NIH, Mayo and CDC. An elevated number, above 5.0, results in a digital exam. If nodules are discovered the fun really begins - usually a punch biopsy what is done without a local. I'll spare you the gory details. :-)

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    • charli.m
      9 years ago

      This.

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  • nakyanjabel
    9 years ago

    Well,u must be a dictator! sorry to say.
    its really embarrassing if a guy lashes out on petty issues.Actually its the lady supposed to be embarrassed with a male physician,not u! well,okay u get pissed,but to a smaller extent.

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    • healthcarepro
      9 years ago

      Thanks for the nonsensical response.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    there are plenty of female doctors out there so maybe she should see them if she values your relationship , cause you sound hysterical

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  • cs92
    9 years ago

    I feel bad that people are kinda giving you a hard time. I kind of figured it would be more understandable. I can sympathize.

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  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    So, if she saw a female doctor the unsettling thought that she may be a lesbian would never creep up on you?

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    • healthcarepro
      9 years ago

      Not at all - anymore than her going to a woman's locker room would bother me. Mine is not an issue of mistrust of my wife or some porn scripted doctor-seduces-woman-during-exam thing. My issue, as odd as it may be, is with another man having very intimate contact with, and knowledge of, my wife's body.

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  • happiallymarriedmale
    9 years ago

    For many years, my wife had a male OB-GYB. Recently, he retired and my wife began going to a female doctor. It too bothered me that another man had a bird's eye view of my wife's naked body. I always got a knot in my stomach when I knew she was probably lying on the exam table with her legs spread wide open. It also bothered me when interns would be present for the exam as well. I realize they have to learn too. I guess it's just a little jealousy that I was never able to overcome. I could never understand why a woman wouldn't choose a female over a male when it came to a pap test. I would much rather have a male doctor examine my private parts rather than a female. I think the doctor of the same sex would be more understanding to your issues than a doctor of the opposite sex.

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    • healthcarepro
      9 years ago

      Thank you. It is good to know that someone else feels the same way. And you describe it perfectly - that overwhelming sense of apprehension, that knot in your stomach the night before and the day of.

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  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    I think its pretty normal to feel that way. A lot of men don't like the idea of their wife being touched by a strange man.
    If your wife doesn't mind then I wouldn't let it bother you (unless he doctor is super hot and she goes all the time... )
    I personally dislike male doctors not just for gynos but in general Id never go to one again. Would most guys go to a female proctologist? I don't think so.

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  • healthcarepro
    9 years ago

    While I appreciate the responses, most don't remotely get the issue.

    It's not that I think she gets excited during an encounter with a male doc. What it really comes down to is an intimacy issue. My wife is extraordinarily beautiful and I don't feel comfortable with other men seeing her naked, much less her in a little room bare assed naked with another man (yes, I know all about chaperones). For the uninitiated, do you know how close the doc's nose is to your wife's vagina when she's having a pap smear? Maybe four inches. Two fingers in her vagina? No problem right? One finger up her butt and one in her vagina" Hey, sounds fine. After all, he's a doctor, right? Let me tell you, I have an MBA and a PhD in public health and men are men.

    I don't think, I know, most male docs get excited during encounters with beautiful women - of which mine is definitely one. Very early in my career I used to run a huge OB/GYN practice. The docs kept patients waiting an average of 50 minutes! So, to improve customer service we started studying physician behavior to see why they were so far behind. As the nurses and I dug into the issue it was the nurses who laughingly appointed out the obvious - with an older, overweight or unattractive patient and annual exam lasted an average of eight minutes. But with pretty, young women? An average encounter of seventeen minutes! Happenstance? Bull shit.

    But, I am pleased to see that 39% of respondents felt my apprehension is normal. Honestly, that's higher than I would have thought, as most of my friends don't care who their wives see. But I've always wondered if men say, "Oh, I could care less" because the way I feel is not cool and not typical.

    But thanks to those who responded, with the exception of the imbeciles who said I was "lashing out" or "a dictator." You're prime examples of why men don't discuss their feelings.

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