Is it normal to get hung up on partner's exs?

71% Normal
9 Comments

I'm with a gorgeous, funny, kind, generous and loving man and I love him like- there's just no words to describe.

Even though I know he loves me back and is considering serious long term with me, I get insecure about his exs and what kind of women he's been with and how I match up. He says I'm the best he's ever been with, yet I'm still hung up on his exs and finding out who they are on FB and what kind of relationship they had.

is it normal to be slightly obsessive about your boyfriend's relationship history??

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 49 votes (35 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • cathy22
    12 years ago

    My present boyfriend is a little jealous of my past but only because he knew my ex. I think if people kept their mouths shut and let the past alone everybody would get along a lot better.

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  • Ramit10
    12 years ago

    Look at it this way if he is still with you after 6 months then thats a really good chance that he loves you. So all you have to say is well they are his ex's for a reason apparently they couldnt make it work out. He has you now and thats all you need to worry about. My gf knows about all my ex's and what we all did. I just try to be truthful that way

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  • STFU23
    12 years ago

    im the same way! fbs the best lol

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I have had the same issue. Previously with my ex's girlfriends i was like that ..not obsesive but like ..seeing how they looked and comparing that to what i saw in the mirror. I Also still do that smetimes with my boyfriend's ex. they didnt date long but they were friends forever and she's much prettier than me. I believe him when he sayds he loves me, however, jealousy is normal, dont sweat it

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  • catandmouse
    12 years ago

    It's hard to imagine your guy with someone else, even if that's done and dead and he loves you very much. It's completely understandable.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    I went out with my husband for 6 years and we've been married more than 20 and I have NEVER ASKED either the name of an ex or what they did together.

    Here's a lesson for you all....
    NEVER ASK A QUESTION THAT YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER TO!

    It can just mess with your mind and he will find your obsessiveness boring and unnecessary. It's not important and they're exes for a reason - his reason, not your's. Chill out and enjoy.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    So relieved to know some of you guys can relate.

    But Ramit10 you're right, I shouldn't be worrying about his exs cos they're in the past now. I'm his present/future and that's what I need to focus working on instead of obsessing whether I'm better than them or not.

    Truthful as it is I don't think I could bear knowing everything my boyfriend did with his exs. But a part of me really wants to know everything to reassure myself that I'm better than them. My brain is such a massive contradiction. Sigh.

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  • moomus
    12 years ago

    I agree with pumpedup kicks as I dont like the thought if being with a man who's been around the block. It would totally put me off if a mans past shags was in double figures. As for the exes it depends how long the relationship was and if they have contact and are friends now. Can't stand if a man of mine speaks of his ex a lot and it feels like I'm being compared. In short, I feel the same as the op.

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  • etcmaverick
    12 years ago

    I feel ya I've never been this way before. I've never loved someone so much and I just want to make sure I measure up.

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