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Shortly after I get up I have a drink of wine, Then with lunch I have another couple of drinks, Then with dinner I have a few more drinks. Over the course of the day I have about 5-8 drinks. It probably isent healthy but it helps stave off suicide for another day.
Get a therapist,it'd really help. This doesn't have to be your life. I hope you get better.
Your tone was flippant but, reading between the lines, there seems to be an element of worry. I don't like to admit it, and I don't say this often, but I was in your position once. Nothing but a health scare would have stopped me and it was a health scare that did stop me. If you are less destructive than I was then, I'd urge you to stop before you have a health scare yourself.
One day you may go to the toilet as normal and only find, when you stand up, that you've just crapped a pint or so of blood. You may find that your blood pressure is so high through alcohol abuse that you're bleeding from under your fingernails. And you may find that you've walked away from all your family and friends (the ones that didn't walk away from you, that is). I just hope you don't, at that point, hear these words come back to you. Because I hope you're never in that position.
Okay, go to a support group. I have to be honest here, I have a dying relative in the hospital right now. How did he get this way? Hes an alcoholic and is almost always drunk. He wasnt happy with his life either, but hes in so much pain now that its horrifying to see. You will be dead in a few years if you do this. My relative in the hospital right now is only 31 years old. Don't do this to yourself. You need to stop it now, please. I don't want to see anyone in a hospital dying of liver damage from too much alcohol. My relatives organs are all shutting down and hes dying.
PLEASE help yourself please. I know I'm a total stranger to you, but there is a better life out there for you. I know what depression feels like, please slow it down with the alcohol or find yourself an AA/depression support group while you still can.
Life is something to treasure. I have my ups and downs, I'm not always happy. Right now, I'm semi depressed, but PLEASE realize that life DOES and will change for you.
It would probably best if you just ended it. Better luck next time... shotgun under the chin should work.
Google nd find an AA meeting support group around u! Kill it before it gets waay to outta control!!!
If you were drinking it with meals and not getting drunk when you drink, then I'd say Normal and healthy too. Then you wrote, "It probably isnt healthy but it helps stave off suicide for another day." Sorry dude, but that sentence makes you sound like an alcholic with a big problem. Get some help.
have you lost weight?
I was thinking of becoming an alcoholic to lose weight. I really can't stand how much effort input into daily exercise with no satisfying weight loss result.
yeah drinking a low calorie beer or spirits might help with that. if you drink enough to feel sick all the time you probably wont end up doing much eating. But I think wine (really high in calories) because im already really skinny.
Anyway to everyone else thanks for the answers, each of them has given me a little more insight into different facets of my life and the world at large.
The fact you mentioned suicide is just boring to me. If you really wanted to kill yourself you would have done it by now. Drinking wouldn't stop you. Get over whatever is bothering you and move the hell on.
Your timing is unusual. But 5 to 8 isn't that much. Just try not to drink in the morning. Cuz your just an alkie then.