Is it normal to flirt with guys i don't really like?

68% Normal
8 Comments

I can't stop myself from flirting with guys that show me attention or that i know are totally attracted to me even if I don't feel the same way about them. I don't really know how to flirt, but if they are flirting with me: i won't turn them down and i just let them continue their act.

Recently, i lost some weight and it's making me a more confident and positive person and so now I do get guys' interest (where as before I had low self esteem and was usually ignored). Now that I am exposed to flirting, I think that I am trying to makeup for the attention I felt I never had before.

Sometimes after flirting with a guy I don't feel a romantic interest to begin with, I actually start getting attached and attracted to that guy. But I think this is artificial as I think I am just attracted to the idea of them being attracted to me and just love getting their attention.

Sometimes it turns into an obsession too. A guy I met recently, is giving the signals that he finds me attractive. However I don't see this going anywhere with him: even if i do find him physically attractive, we don't really have the same interests and he is a jerk (he can be insensitive and belittle people). but since we last met, i actually can't stop thinking about getting more attention from him (even if im not in flirt mode with him). All I need to do is contact him to push him and encourage him in his behavior. I really feel like doing this right now and leading him on just to get his attention, but I know that is wrong to do as I definitely don't want to take it further with him (sex or dating).

Does this happen to anyone else too? How can i stop myself from flirting or obsessing about guys i dont even like in the first place or that I don't want to take things further with?

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 28 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    follow thru and youll be very busy

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  • fartonmyface
    11 years ago

    Leading people on is a very immoral act. Some people are emotionally weak and may have severe problems going on in their life, and maybe you are their sunshine that brightens things up. Maybe for that guy, talking to you makes him have a better day, or even a better week. When you one day turn around and decide you don't like him anymore, he is going to be severely depressed and will start to do poorly in school and that could cost him a whole semesters worth of money or it could even jeopardize his future. You may think I am exaggerating right now but this is a very possible scenario. So think about this persons feelings before you start leading him on for your own selfish intentions.!

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    • coramora
      11 years ago

      I do agree with you that it's despicable behavior. I see it all the time with how some of my other girl friends like to toy with guys and feel sorry for the guys (the nice ones) knowing that he's not going anywhere with them.

      Now that i have "the power", i feel how tempting it is to use it but i'm also aware of how selfish and harmful it can be (as i have been on other side too). I really hate myself for even thinking this way about using a person for my own gratification, because i don't think i'm that kind of person.

      However, i wish i could have some regular guy friends (not sex or romantic interest types) because sometimes guys are just more fun to hang out with (and less gossipy then the girls i know). However the ones with who it clicks (on a friendship level) in the end always want a relationship... Or else they're not interested in remaining platonic. it's annoying.

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      • fartonmyface
        11 years ago

        I'm sure you can find a platonic friendship with a guy, if he is homosexual. Otherwise, if you befriend a guy, he's bound to start liking you down the line. Worst part is, if he doesn't like you, you'll probably start to like him! And when you find out he doesn't feel the same way and is playing you, you'll get all upset and complain about how guys are all jerks and just want women for one thing and one thing only. That's just the game of love which, unfortunately, too many people waste their time playing. Maybe one day you'll grow out of it. As a guy, I've grown out of that stupid game and avoid girls who behave like you and your friends like the plague. Why? Because I don't feel like getting my heart broken for the millionth time, so it's easier to just tell myself "agh this girl is just one of those..." and move on with my lonely life. Lol.

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  • cat753
    11 years ago

    I do like flirting and kindda leading them on, but the difference is that as soon as i see they are getting serious i tell them i dont like them and stop. Sure flirting is fun but hurting someone and knowing what you are doing is cruel. You just need to learn how to do it propperly. How to avoid hurting people. It's not easy, but try to be perceptive and realize when it's gone to far. Restraint is important, you ARE playing with fire here. And i assure you, pretty soon it will backfire.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    All "pretty" girls do this i think it's harsh.

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    I guess you like the attention even when that is all there is to it for you. You did say you were lacking in confidence. So perhaps doing things that build your confidence in real ways will make you less likely to seek out attention for the sake of being noticed.

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    • coramora
      11 years ago

      yes, you're right. i have too much time on my hands if i can think about toying with guys. i'm trying to put my energy on more productive things.

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