Is it normal to flirt to keep friends?

53% Normal
12 Comments

So, I have this situation. I don't have many friends, and when I meet people they usually lose interest in me really fast. I am usually left out of social activities with limited people.

But well, I discovered something, when I am flirty with people, they tend to be willing to hang out with me more often and they truly seem enthusiastic about spending time with me. So, almost unconsciously, I am flirting with people and giving them hope that "something could happen" lately, even if I am not interested at all.

So, I was wondering if this is normal. Is it?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 49 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • EccentricWeird
    9 years ago

    "I'm kind of bored, I think I'll go home now."
    "I have a vagina."
    "Let's play Super Mario Kart!"

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      True story

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        Eccentric would be one of those guys you can flirt with and easily manipulate because of how awkward he is.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Whether you're male or female, what you're doing is manipulative behaviour.
    The reason being, the poor saps your doing it too don't know your motives - to most people flirting equates to romantic interest. No matter how comforting it is for you it's unfair to toy with people's emotions and give them false hope.

    I once knew someone who did the same thing to people and, while that person got what they wanted in the short-term, the "friends" got a world of hurt in the end.

    Unless you want people to think of you as some sort of socio-path, stop it. Be genuine.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    9 years ago

    Kinda manipulative, don't get me wrong I think I get why you're doing it but if I found out someone was only flirting with me for that reason alone I'd be pissed and I'd feel manipulated

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      That's exactly how I'd feel. And if I saw someone doing it, I'd think a lot less of them for it.

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      • kingofcarrotflowers
        9 years ago

        Agreed

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  • Anime7
    9 years ago

    It's like, I understand where you're coming from, you act like somebody you're not so that people will hang out with you. I get it, but don't you think that these people aren't worth hanging out with if you have to act differently?

    On top of all that, it sounds like you're leading so many guys (or girls you never specified) on and that's never fun.

    Instead of being flirty, just try being more extroverted. You can still be fun without being flirty. However, I know that sometimes you put on a mask for so long that it becomes hard to take off. I just don't want anyone feeling like you lead them on. That could lead to some problems.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      You are absolutely right, they are probably better people for me... But it is not easy to find the ideal friends. It is really hard for me to find compatible people, and even harder to keep them near me. So if I don't want to be alone, I have to be resourceful.

      I didn't want to state my gender, because I didn't want to freak out people; but I am actually a guy. And for some reason, it just feels like it is more unacceptable for guys to act this way.

      I know leading on is bad... but I believe that people who act friendly just for ulterior motives is just as bad. So well... there is an equal exchange more or less I guess, haha.

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      • Anime7
        9 years ago

        Actually, when you say flirting with people what do you mean? Cause I mean, like since you're a guy, what could be considered flirtatious could really just be interpreted as friendly. It's a double standard sadly, but you could be friendly to be around without leading people on since you're a guy.

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  • AngelaChase
    9 years ago

    Sometimes guys think I'm flirty because I'm friendly, genuinely interested in what they have to say, and laugh at their jokes. It has gotten me into some sticky situations where people think I'm interested in them. A couple times people's feelings have gotten really hurt. I can relate to your situation. I don't blame you for using the flirting tactic, just know that if you're not clear about your intentions the situation can get really sticky.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Is it so important to have people in your life, even if you have to act like a tramp? Well, I guess you've already answered that, haven't you?
    So I guess the question is why? You obviously have little self respect, and that is certainly something you need to work on.
    I wish you luck.

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