Is it normal to fell sick about other people cheating?

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4 Comments

First of all, sorry for the bad english, I'm from Brazil.
I'm not religious, or a saint, far from that, if I'm single would try to sleep with different girls every week, but if in a relationship, I'm faithfull. It makes me feel so bad, even watching tv, I watched a show called Cheaters on youtube, and it makes me feel so sick to the stomach how people could stab someone they love in the back like this. I kind know it's silly, but one time, in a episode of HOUSE on FOX, a father sleeped with the son's gf, I almost trow up!
It is just me? Am I crazy? Here in the site about this same subject, one guy comment something like that: "Get of your high horse, it is the 21st century."
This also bother me, this way of thinking that hurt someone else like that it's normal or acceptable.
The bigger problem is that affects me in relationships, I have a hard time trusting my significant other. I'm not like a jealous chick, calling or checking the other person messages, in my head, I use logic, put myself together and I see there no actual reason to be suspicious, but is REALLY hard. But every time I see something like that, I imagine myself in that position and it just hurt's me.
The truth is, numbers are so bad about this subject, it's like 67% of people cheated at some point in their lives: That leaves only 33% of people that can be trusted, of course, because someone cheated before, does not mean that person will do it again, what comes to this: 34% cheated on their current relationship, over 50% of all marrieges end up in divorce. Those numbers are actually from the US, and this scares tha crap out of me.
I REALLY would like for you people to share what you are thinking in the comments, my last question here got 41 vtes, 3 comments. Thanks

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57% Normal
Based on 7 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • RinTin
    12 years ago

    People cheat and marriages end in divorce because there is no communication or they're too afraid to tell the other it's over. I think people who want to sleep around should let their partner know what they want, but if you have to sneak around you're a loser. Just tell someone what you want so you're being fair to them and they can decide what they want to do. Relationships are hard. I was honestly surprised that you said 67% of people have cheated.

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    • ciloneto
      12 years ago

      I agree with you for the most part, i would say with good communication would drop severely the amount of divorces and cheating. But, unfortunely, there is those man and woman that will just do it, does not matter if the partner is great in bed, funny, supportive, they will cheat because they are just terrible human beings.
      Before anyone says anything, I did not take those numbers ou of my ass, and remeber that those number are US only... I'm sure that in places like... India maybe? The numbers must be way lower.
      Those statistics punch me in tha face, I look the them up because I was scared, and then I think: I must be crazy, let's go see the real numbers e reconfort myself because there is no reason to be afraid right? And then i saw this. Makes me feel worse.

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  • TerryVie
    12 years ago

    It's normal to feel that way.

    I have to tell you, i do live in a open relationship.
    I have lots of sex outside that relationship, and i prefer people who are in a relationship for that sex.

    The reasoning is quite simple: Love is not the same thing as sex.

    I love my partner, dearly so. I enjoy all the time we spend together and everything we do, if i don't see her for a while i miss her and i start thinking about her christmas/birthday presents months before worrying about my family's gifts...

    I would not want to hurt her in any way, and i'd try to be there for her however i could be.

    BUT: While we do have great sex with one another, we never saw a specific reason to ONLY have sex with each other. Especially since i enjoy a man now and then, something she simply can't provide.

    Now, i have quite a lot of "cheating" experience, and i can assure you that the big lot of "cheating" guys do LOVE their girls, they don't emotionally care about the girl they cheat with, they just want the sex. The "problem" is that faithfulness is still such a highly valued trait.
    In todays age and time, we still uphold traditional values and relationships have to be monogamous and faithful, and last for the whole life. Why? Who told us so except our parents/grandparents/...? If people feel they WANT it that way, it's all fine, but it's just an assumed standard.

    I feel that there would be a lot less grievance in the (first) world, if more people learned to separate between love and sex. I can have sex with 20 people and still love ONE person.

    In your situations or shows, however, the assumed standard applies, thus, you know, that even if those cheaters still loved their partners, someone was griefously hurt in the process. Which is an awful thing to do. So excuse the rant, i do understand you and i think it's normal, but i'd so love for this to "not" be normal.

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    • ciloneto
      12 years ago

      That's the thing, I'm not a prude at all! Your kind of relantionship it's exactly what I want. It's not about sex, it's about trust. In your case you have an agreement, and that's fine, my problem is with people that are suppose to be exclusive to each other and choose the path of betrayal. I don't care about values of society, it's all about the agreement that the 2 individuals in the relationship have, if you have an agreement where you both can go into orgy and shit, it's fine, but that is up with you and your loved one.

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