Is it normal to feel this way/what should i do? please help.

11 Comments

I've struggled with depression for a long time which was/is caused by a really difficult childhood and I'm only fifteen. I've attempted suicide, self-harmed, lost interest in normally enjoyable activities, been plagued by suicidal thoughts, etc. I'm here because, I was just released from a mental hospital less than a week ago for problems relating to depression.

When I was there, I felt great, not really because they helped me but because I was in a stress-free environment. This permitted me to think about reasons to live and generally get better as well as allow for self-discovery.

I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), PTSD, and anxiety. While I was there, I didn't have to worry about grades, friends, relationships, etc which helped with my anxiety a lot and allowed me to be optimistic for once.

Anyways, now that I'm home, I do stress about those things which worsens my anxiety. (When my anxiety gets bad, so does my depression.) So, I've had several thoughts about self-harm, I feel depressed a lot and I've had a generally negative attitude.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm home, I've had enjoyable moments, and I know I'm going to have rough days. However, I can't help but feel hopeless, like I'm never going to get better, which I know is illogical but I can't refrain myself from feeling this way.

So, please give me you're advice, also, is it normal to feel this way?

Tell my parents and take it from there 12
Wait it out 2
Go back to the hospital 5
Do nothing 2
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Comments ( 11 )
  • ThatOneOfMe
    7 years ago

    I got out a year ago. Stay on your medication, never skip it, talk to your therapist honestly, and don't bury the thing that bug you. When there's an issue or something you don't like that's going on around you, bring it up. You just have to keep going through each day, and following the doctor's orders. It does help. Trust me, I've been down that road. I'm 18 btw, and was almost 17 when I went in, so I'm not just some adult telling you what to do lol

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  • eatmetoo
    7 years ago

    What happened to you to give you PTSD Were you abused at home in some way? Sex maybe. It happened to me as a preteen. My stepdad.

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  • riffraffy
    7 years ago

    A big part of hopelessness is feeling like you have a lack of control. If you take control of more aspects of your life things won't seem quite so dire.

    Exercising, dieting, reading and training up a skill are a few ways you can control the direction your body and mind are heading. Few things build confidence more than noticing yourself improve.

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    • UmAwkward
      7 years ago

      Thank you

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  • Dad
    7 years ago

    I think you seem to have the concept that this hospital vacation was all about your psychology, and for some reason having a break would make everything right at last, when it obviously didn't!

    Your depression (anxiety etc etc etc) is not just a psychological disorder, where a good talking and learning curb is involved. You quite obviously have a chemical imbalance in your body (or physical brain - who knows), that requires ACTUAL medication.

    The problem with this personalized medication treatment of pill popping just to keep you from harm, is that sometimes it takes years of testing which pill level works best for you. BUT in the end the doctors DO get it right. You understand they are also contending with the normal changes happening in your own body, especially those hormones!

    You need to go back to hospital and get actual blood tests; brain scan, whatever, to then find the starting physical medication you require to be a 'normal' average person of society again (which you are anyway, because this IS treatable).

    IF you honestly feel like killing yourself (in future) know this THAT'S THE ILLNESS YOU HAVE. You don't really want to die - NO ONE does.

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    • UmAwkward
      7 years ago

      Thank you for your advice but they did run many, many tests while I was there and narrowed down a large amount of medications. I am currently taking medicine to treat my depression, anxiety, etc. But thank you, I will certainly keep your last paragraph in mind in the future.

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      • Dad
        7 years ago

        Just follow the medications.
        I went out with a girl once who did not notice that when she was off her meds she was a mess.
        As soon as she went back on her meds she was right again. Although SHE herself did not notice the difference.

        At your young age you already have enough to contend with, so even though you are opening up here, a good friend or ideally parent, would be your best option. I'm sure you are well loved but I understand (as I'm sure they do too) that sometimes you may seem a little irrational at times.

        I already feel compassion for you about you going to a hospital, I'm sympathetic to your needs and I don't even know you :)
        It is an awkward time for the most common of girls out there, my best advice would be don't make any rash decision, seek help from your support people around you.

        Oh, and I was thinking about my 'last paragraph', just telling you stuff won't fix you! IF you feel like hurting yourself you can post back here (then wait Lol hopefully I see it) or don't actually 'wait' but call someone immediately or go to someone who loves you to get support. Most of the time we just need a hug and shoulder to cry on.

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        • UmAwkward
          7 years ago

          Thank you :)

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        • ODED_OBLITERATE
          7 years ago

          Oded here, good to see another fellow helper of the minds on here. I couldn't have said all that advice better myself.

          Oded....out

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          • Dad
            7 years ago

            Thanks Oded, I was 'told off' in another personal opinion I had (that may have been misunderstood) against another topic today, so your reply has come at a good time for me. Thanks.

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            • ODED_OBLITERATE
              7 years ago

              Oded here, excellent. I am quite pleased upon the results of my compliment. Any time I can make one feel better is a happy time.

              Oded....out

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