Is it normal to feel this way? what do?

71% Normal
5 Comments

I know, I know, another relationship advise post.

But I can't help it! I think about her litraly every day now. I use to be very down and dull but when I'm round her I... well... I'm nervous alot of the time and try not to weird her out to much. I forget about the shit in my life and only think of her when we hang out.

Last night I bought her drinks and dinner (not much, just a chinese takeaway and vodka). Hopeing to have a nice night in... She brought her laptop round (again) to talk to her friends on MSN. I don't mind it's just that it feels like I'm boreing her. I don't even know if she knows I like her either. I was going to tell her but then last night she said she dosn't take complements well... That may be so, but I want her to know how I feel and show her how much she is worth. (Preferbly with something better than a takeaway)

Is her being on her laptop an indecation that I'm boreing? She wants to see me again tonight, so I can't be that boreing. How do I tell her, how I feel? I have the romance thing down... I think. I was planing on learning her favorite bands, songs on guitar so I can play while she sings.

I also find it hard to think of things to say and talk about with her. I have a very dark view of the world and her's is more innocent.

Sorry if the spelling is off. I'm in a rush and just needed to get some stuff off my chest.

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71% Normal
Based on 34 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • ven067
    13 years ago

    You are quite the character. You remind me of one of my best friends. He has a darker view of the world also but is crazy for a girl and tends to get very nervous and feels that he is boring her every time they talk. So basically to answer the very obvious question. Yes this is normal.
    I think this happens to every guy that meets a girl they like, they often feel like they're the most boring person on the planet. (from personal experience)
    So my advice...
    I think you do have a very good chance with her. Maybe take her out more often, rather than just getting dinner. Like to a theme park, some local attractions, concerts, movies? something that shows her you're not just the type who just wants to relax at home with takeout all the time. Remember you don't have to empty out your wallet to show her a good time. If money is an issue, do things such as picnics, go to the beach, play a sport with her..stuff like that
    Next, I like the idea of you learning some of her favorite songs. I think you should try to, that would really impress her and show her you know what she likes and shows that you are actually listening to her when she talks.
    Now for the actual telling part, I would just do it when you see her the most happiest. Try to take her hand and look at her and say I have to tell you something. You could even crack a joke or two, like look all serious about it and say, "I'm pregnant" (lol)
    but other than that, just tell her. You don't want to be left wondering if she likes you back if you never let her know you like her in the first place.
    For the first part of your story as to the whole laptop thing. I don't think it necessarily means that she thinks your boring. She probably just really wants to talk to her friends or she might feel like she's bothering you and needs something to preoccupy herself with and she doesn't want you to feel like you have to devote all your time to her.

    Anyways, I think and hope I helped in some way. But nothing I say matters, its what you think is best. Sorry for such a long answer by the way...
    =P

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    • ComboBreaker
      13 years ago

      You did, I think I'll use the pregnant joke.

      We spent the evening together, cooked some stuff (I'm terrible at cooking and made bacon while she made a cake... think she won.) We were talking about WW2 and what she want's to do in the future. Then our friend came by to eat the food we made. I wouldn't mind it but, I kinda wanted to spend time with her alone. I'm going to ask her to the movies (again) hope she will go with me.

      Something awkward that happend though, she anounced to me she thinks she might be Bi sexual. I know this dosn't meen she can never like me, but I don't think I can compete against women, I can hardly compete against men. Though aparently I look like a woman... hmmm... Anyway, it's another concern that she might not like me. Not to mention she had the idea that I was gay. I'm gonig to move things quicker and buy her something tomorrow... urm, today lol. I'm going to buy her a gift (not a big one, a meeningful one) and hope she gets the picture. Also I'll force her to go see a movie with me! mwahahaha. I've had to much to drink.

      She hates complements, how do you make someone feel good without complements?

      I have some idea.. sorta. I was gonig to say:

      " *name*, I know you hate it when people give you complements, so I wont give you any. So long as I can show you how amazeing and beautiful you are."

      Then I guess, I kiss her or something... somthing romantic. It could use some work though... I'll do it when I'm sober.

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      • ven067
        13 years ago

        I'm glad to hear you're making progress. She does seem to be quite interested. Don't worry about the bi thing or the fact that she might think you're gay, but make sure you've cleared it up with her that you're NOT gay haha cuz that wouldn't be good cuz thats what i call a "roger" effect. Where girls hang out with you and they tell you their secrets and stuff but only because they think you're gay. I named it after my friend Roger because he's not gay but because of how he acts and his appearance he's friends with A LOT of girls.

        But I digress, I applaud the fact that you want to buy her something and yes don't break your wallet trying to buy her expensive items. Maybe try to remember something she said before or something she likes and get a gift relating to that.
        And as for the compliments issue, I'm not really sure what to do because to me, all girls love compliments even if they don't show it. Maybe inside she really loves compliments. If I were you I would compliment her without really complimenting her.

        Example: She's looking all pretty and stuff one day right? You want to say you're beautiful or you're gorgeous but you know she "hates" compliments so you can say..."Hey i like shirt/dress/sweater/etc. you are wearing. It looks really comfortable or nice.

        you're kinda complimenting her but not really since you are really talking about the clothing she's wearing. If she say's something like "its not that nice" or basically something that kinda puts down what you said you can follow up with, "well even if its not, it looks good on you" and there you go, BAM! you just dished out a compliment secretly. (sort of)

        But yea other than that I hope it all works out, email me if you have further inquiries because I don't go on isitnormal.com a lot and it doesn't alert me on ur replies so please email me at

        [email protected]

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    I agree with ^^^. She likes you. You like her. But you are going to have to let your relationship evolve & learn new skills on the way: especially communication skills.

    Seems you both have trouble talking & hearing about personal matters: who you are, how you feel, & what you think about yourselves & each other.

    Keep working on it - see where it goes.

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  • combatgal856
    13 years ago

    Firstly, there are quiet a lot of girls who say they hate compliments, but sometimes they need to be said. I hate compliments but they make me blush, and I'm sure it is a similar case for her.

    I know everyone says this but 'be yourself', if you are yourself around her then you know she likes you for who you really are and you will be able to show your true self to her without being nervous, because evrything you do is part of your personality.

    Sometimes romance is not everything, get to know her first, have a little 'fun', conversation is very important, start with 'how was your day/week' and continue the conversation, maybe talk about a hobby and eventually the conversation should unrole, treat her like a normal person, forget the fact you really like her, otherwise you may be afraid of messing up which might contribute to you finding nothing to say.

    You sound bothered about the laptop, maybe you should make a joke out of it like 'am I that boring', then she might pick up the hint that her laptop is disturbing you without sounding too serious, and this will also make you sound confident which every woman want.

    Take things slow, don't rush, make sure you talk to her about ANYTHING, even current events, once me and my bf talked about cats for an hour, so just talk, who know where it can take you

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