Is it normal to feel this way in every relationship?

71% Normal
6 Comments

I seem to have some serious commitment issues in every romantic relationship I'm in. The past three relationships I've been in I get sick of them after about three months, and so I end them. I'm 21 and have never been in a long term relationship. I want to be in a healthy relationship though.

I've tried to think about what could be the cause of this problem. The only thing I could think of was that my father was kind of abusive to me and my siblings when we were children. When I was about 5 or 6, he put a pillow over my face and tried to smother me and he would hit us with his belt to punish us. This seemed to be a possible answer to explain my aversion to commitment. But my sister doesn't have the same relationship problems.

So I just wanted to know if this was normal? And could this be a logical explanation for why I have this problem?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 28 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • ucipher8
    11 years ago

    I recently have been very conscious about children and abuse, especially whether or not abuse in a growing household is necessary or not... To me a belt whipping, is as bad as being kicked in the chest until you do another singler epetition push up, in a class of adults mind you...

    Times are changing, the iron fist in the house hold is being replaced with the double edged knife (rape, prostitution, etc)

    But in times of distress, sometimes its the hardest lessons that make the most sense. Abuse of the human body however, that deserves a punishment unheard of.

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    Maybe you're afraid of someone getting too close to you because you don't want to get hurt and or possibly be smothered(not literally but figuratively) I'm curious as to what kind of relationship you had with your mother as a child when all this abuse was going on. Also was there any history of drug or alcohol abuse in your family of origin? I'd like to encourage you to seek out professional help if you feel you need it.

    Here's a website to check out: http://www.adultchildren.org/

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I was really attached to my mother when I was younger. Even when I was a baby.

      And I don't think anyone in my family has ever abused drugs or alcohol

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  • Antir0b0t
    11 years ago

    It's normal to be afraid of committing. Committing means you're willing to offer all of yourself to someone who could destroy your world and leave you heartbroken. I would seek therapy if you're concerned about possible trauma from your past experiences. You deserve a happy and healthy relationship, just find someone worth the risk. Every relationship has its moments of doubt, it's the need to be with that person that pushes you to mend the relationship. To make it last. Don't worry so much about how something will end and focus on the journey.

    Besides, you are all you have until you die. Might as well love yourself too while your wanting to fix and love someone else.

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    • ucipher8
      11 years ago

      In addition to a robot, take your experience as a dictionary. reflect on it for inspiration and, don't; not look back, but be aware that you hadn't died or killed yourself yet. You obviously have a purpose. Pain is just another virtue.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    I bet you're a girl.

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