Is it normal to feel this way after so much bad stuff has happened?!

Hi, I'd love to get some feedback and opinions on my situation, please. I'd like to know if people think the way I'm feeling is 'normal' after a string of unfortunate things happened in my life, NONE of which were down to anything I did or any poor decisions I made. So I will go ahead and explain and it is a long post, but I'd really appreciate it if you could take the time to read and respond. Thanks.

I lost my Grandad when I was 16 to cancer and it deeply upset me and it was all so shocking and happened when I was taking my GCSE exams at school. I felt like I was just starting to come to terms with it and then... when I was a late 17 yr old, my mum got into a relationship with a man who turned out to be a controlling socio path who... wait for it... lived in the flat below us. The r'ship lasted for almost two years and over time he began to play mind games with both of us and because he was in the same building, we couldn't really get away. I got caught up in it and ended up taking on this kind of responsibility to protect my mum. I didn't know what he might do (usually if he didn't 100% get his own way). I felt very threatened and apparently according to a friend really changed during that time and they wondered what was going on. But I'd been told by my mum not to speak to anyone about what was happening, so being loyal and too nice to break my word, I kept quiet.

Then, aged 19 I had to go off to university and people told me to 'just forget about it' but I was so scared as to what might happen to my mum. So it made me really anxious and I didn't enjoy the first year as much as I could have. And I didn't get on with the people in my halls at all and felt a lot more mature than them. The abusive r'ship between my mum and this man ('man') finally ended when he broke down our door one evening. You get the picture : / A restraining order was put on him and he wasn't allowed to come close to us (and he moved somewhere else). When I was in my second year at uni (aged 20) my mum got into another relationship with a lovely man this time - he really was a good and genuine person but I was still concerned (understandably....) Anyway, then about six/seven months into the r'ship, he got cancer and died within about four months. They were supposed to be getting married - which, I have to say, also worried me a bit as they'd only been together about four/five months when they announced it. Him dying obviously put a stop to the whole thing anyway. It was a very sad time and again, I felt I had to support my mum but didn't feel strong enough in myself to do so. So I sort of struggled through uni and I did enjoy some of it and did meet a couple of good friends. But after all that had happened I developed quite bad anxiety problems and would avoid doing a lot of things. It's as though I'd been conditioned to believe that something would go wrong. I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt more, but at the same time, missing out on life. I graduated and then the job search began... I have had THE worst luck with it. I've been job hunting for almost three years and have only managed to pick up a couple of part time jobs and some work experience. I'm kind of part time self employed now so I earn some money from that but other than that... it's looking a bit bleak. I've been rejected by so many places now and it's hard to take. And to top it all off, last year, I was told that my Dad who I haven't been in contact with for about a decade has an illness that is genetic and could have potentially been passed on to me. GREAT. No brothers or sisters to talk to about it either - not that I'd want anyone to be in the same boat! I don't want to go into what it is but I will say there isn't currently a cure : / So on top of stress from other things, I'm now having to deal with that. My parents weren't together when I was born so it's awkward because I'm feeling some kind of guilt that I'm not seeing my dad when I know his life will probably be shortened by the disease he has. It's really confusing.

I'm starting to feel like I've done something to deserve all this c**p but the fact is, I'm a nice, generous person, who cares a lot about others and wants to make a positive difference in this world. It just feels like everything's against me and I often feel depressed and unmotivated. Seriously, sometimes the simplest of things just seem like such a monumental effort and I feel like I spend too much time just coping rather than living. I'm a young 25 and starting to feel like a lot of the last few years has just been swallowed up by stress and misfortune. I often feel tired and just find it so hard to be positive about things now. is it normal to be feeling this way, given my situation? Input would be very much appreciated, thank you.