Is it normal to feel this way about my pregnancy?
Day 1. Got my haircut felt great, peed on a stick and spent the rest of the day crying as two lines appeared 3 times. I finally summed up the courage to meet my boyfriend for dinner and we've been together 18 months so I thought he'd be happy but he said we aren't ready, I get that but it didn't stop me from crying in a busy restaurant.
Day 2. I got my bloods done, spent all day romancing and talking about a future. He now feels confident about keeping it and I feel really happy, I come home and my mum is suggesting abortion and I start crying again.
I am 21 (22 next week), studying college, working 2 part times jobs and living at home. My boyfriend is 21, works 40 hours at a deli, applied police force and does web design on the side and living at home.
Everyone is telling me the right thing is to abort, and it breaks my heart but I feel like I am being unrealistic about keeping it too, like I am disappointing the whole world, even though it fills me with so much happiness. I don't know where I will be in 9 months time, hopefully graduated and ready for a family, my unplanned pregnancy feels like it has come a few months too early as I wanted to have children after graduation. My situation looks really bad to a lot of people, but even if I had a home of my own and a husband, that can easily be all lost too so nobody is ever really truly ready to have kids, and I have always felt only rich people can raise children (as there is a lot of judgement on people who struggle financially raising children).
I've always wanted to be a young mother, spend a year or two raising a child and doing part time work until they are in kinder so I can begin a career, but my mum of all people are telling me I am ruining lives. Keeping it makes me so joyed and abortion I keep bringing myself to tears, I am going to see a counselor to find my answer, but I feel like it's me against the world and is this normal? I've read so many pregnancy blogs and people are thrilled, families thrilled, partners thrilled, like things look so peachy for them but I feel like I am being bullied so I am not telling anyone because they people I thought support me, aren't.