Is it normal to feel this way about a girl and have hope?

I didnt no there was a word limit lol

Well it is
Completly normal , im happy that you want to change your life for her and do your best , i hope you can have her in your arms again and when you do , try buying a house , ask her to move in ! You have many opportunities . Good luck!

I hate men like you.if i were your girl I would have never given you a chance

tl:dr

It makes sense, i'm actually in the process of seeing that play out. Thanks a lot!

Yes that is normal. I've seen that same pattern in a few of my acquaintances and it always goes pretty much the same way. You need to get yourself together, not for her or anyone else, but for you. As far as girls go, you won't ever attract anyone of quality until you are emotionally healthy and not dependent on another for your happiness. As for you, you will be so much happier when you get yourself together and improve your self esteem. You don't need that, or any, girl to be happy. Best luck :)

Ps I hope this makes sense. This is the first rational thought I've had in days :)

Im open to all advise no smart remarks though this is serious, well to me. I will send some good karma your way for your thoughts and time, thanks once again.

I had no job , wasn't doing too good in college, and jus tried to escape reality by being a beach bum , and all I looked foward to was to spend time with my love at the end of the day and it would all would be all right, with me atleast. Now upon our last talk before she broke up with me after a very emotional talk. I cried, she cried. She said she wanted to cut all ties with me and hated me,but she also said she would consider taking me back if she seen I changed and made progress with my self. I kinda am skeptical that she will take me back. I kinda jus believe she said that to have like a "light" break up and not break my heart into peices at once. I am willing to change for her ill do anything that I can for her at made that very clear to her .you guys don't know how much this girl means to me. I never thought I would be all in love and stuff, she really grew into my life and is a big part of what I am and hope to become. I came from thinking she was just gonna be some little puppy love highschool 3 week relationship type thing to where I am now thinking I feel like i need her in my life. even after a day of not being w her i feel I made progress right away. I got multiple job interviews and job offers. I decided to stop drinking and lay off the herb. I'm planning in takin things more seriously. I really want to prove to her i can change myself. I want her in my arms once more and forever.
I just want to know if it's normal to feel and think this way? It's only been three days without her but it feels like forever. I know she's my first gf and many ppl will say there is plenty fish in the sea , it will be okay youll find some one else, blah blah blah ,but I just want to catch that certain little first fish that I've had for so long again. so much that I don't care about all those potential fish I may catch at all or come to me.

I would be the only guy invited at times amd sometimes well a lot of times iwould be left out or felt left out because well I couldn't relate to what they would be talking about or didn't catch my attention you know? All I could really do was to get hammered which wasn't good. But i didn't care as long as I was with her I was happy. Eventually we would argue a lot at these gatherings and caused lots of problems in our relationship she would bring up old incidents/problems when she was drunk that we had initially worked on and gotten over with up again and it was just bad for both of us to relive these incidents.
Well finally jus recently we reached our final arguement or she did and decided to call it quits. She just had a breakdown brought out all the negatives about me and well gave up all hope on me and left me.i never thought we would breakup, weve been through hell and back many times and everyone who knew us said wed be one of those couples that be together forever. I knew that was infact what i wanted I jus never said anything cus I didn't wanna be or sound all cheesy about it. Upon that last conversation she made me realize that I haven't really been doin much with my life or thinking of my future just being what she called a "looser boyfriend". Which is true I was jus focusing on being with her amd nothing else that I kinda just stayed on a pause in my life for about a year where I had nothing going for me and was going no where. All that mattered to me was jus to be by her side. i became addicted to her in everyway ,I became blinded by love in a sense.

At the time I was pretty much a bum. I couldn't get a job had no money I lost my car I went to jail and just didn't have the best of luck with my life and didnt have much going for me. i was jus wasting my life but its not like i wasnt tryig to make progress I was jus not trying hard enough I realized. on the other hand she was making money and doing good in life and what not.It at times made me feel like I wasn't good enough for my girl because I couldn't really do much for her like I used to before and it made me sad. things went like till recently. to me at times things seemed like we were just together by a couple fine threads holding us together. Until finally they just recently finally ripped. Due to some Stupid incident that had become somewhat of a pattern of problems for us. My gf and her friends would all gather at a friends of theirs and drink amd socialize and do what ever girls do.

i am never going to read that all the way, so i'm gonna say no. you're a freak. for writing that much.