Is it normal to feel this way????

I'm Male 19 now
I jus graduated..
I'm not gay well trying not to be

my question is I have this classmate well I call him my friend at the beginning of HS we found out we was in the same health class and when I turn around and saw him I was like I couldn't take my eyes off him His long cold black hair and kinda shy he was me too but he always blurted out everynow and then but wasn't loud like but every time I CAME IN THE CLASS I'D look into his eyes don't know why though he be the only one i'd look at even though oneday the teacher caught me talkin and moved me front of the class but yeah oneday embarrased the heck outta myself one day he had wore sum kargo shorts which was our uniform color(yeah khaki) anyway but yeah he had sum on that day that looked kinda small on him but really really loose at the leg part almost that you kould see his light-skin dick lmaooo try to take my mine off but yeah it felt like i left my body and yeah even though I always been picked and teased upon my skinnest I could feel they were laughing inside what happen was I saw he was late tht day and I couldn't believe my eyes that I stared at a dagg on dude all the way from the door and den the stupid part is when he had sat down he had open his legs and yeah you could almost well basiacally see his umm hmm and I couldn't believe that when the teacher was given a lecture about fetish or sumn yeah I can't believe while she was speaking I position my head inaway (you know when you musty and stuff you put ur nose under your arm right? yeah i layed my head down and looked back dead directly at his yu know what)and I tryed my best to get him out my mind and do my dream of getting a sexc girl too be my HS SWEET-CHICK LOL but every stinkn day I always ended up thinkn of him even though we both we str8 I always though he was a cool and friendly guy which he is..even though he str8 w/gf I would always find him smiling at me like with no regrets or nothing the weird thing though I always found to want to see him naked and at least see his undies forwhtever reason idk well I think I got wht I wanted I think but like senior year we got out on the tenth of june so we had practice/senior picnic on the 11th and just b4 everyone left well he kinda left late as me nd him went out the bak door to get on the bus he lifted up his shirt and his ass was out like he knew i was lookn or sumn I do wonder y i have feelings toward him!!! lol please dnt kome sayn im gay nd shyt I just wannA HAVEA BEATIFUL gurl 1day I wanna off-spring nd srry 4 the grammer/punctuation so shut up if yu only wanna say how bad my grammer is.....