Is it normal to feel this lonely?

Are you still alone?

rlh, I really felt for you when I read your story. I was wondering how have things worked out for you know? Is life a little better now? I do hope so.

Thank you! Are you going through the same thing yourself? Please share your story. If I can give you any kind of support right now, please just ask. I just can't stand thinking that there are people out there who feel the same pain & loneliness that I've been feeling. It's not right. The people who responded to my story truly helped me. Just knowing that someone took time out of their day to make me feel better.. well, that was just heartwarming. You need, and deserve, the same. Blessings to you friend.
rlh

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!

Your past should stay in the past. You are so accustomed to living a certain way that this new life is making you feel homesick. There probably was a time that you did spend alone before you got married. If you did it then you can do it now. I would recommend you keep a journal and write everything down in that journal. There was a point in my life where I would complain about everything until finally one day someone told me to shut the hell up and write what I had to say down. Let me tell you, it helped so much and I did not annoy people so much, It really does help. I have had to live my entire life being ignored by everyone around me. It's a pretty lonely life considering there were so many people around me. I had to learn to be an observer and grown as a person. What you must know is that YOU ARE POWERFUL. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. and no one but yourself can make yourself lonely. This is a learning experience. Learn to love yourself and people will love you as well. You can not expect people to love you and support you in the way that you like if you don't treat yourself that way. You should write a list down of all the things you have wanted from people and do those things for yourself. Go to the hair salon and get your hair done, get your nails done. Go get that massage. Treat yourself to ice cream. Buy yourself flowers. Take a relaxing bath with essential oils. Court yourself and you will see that the world around you will change. Join clubs and different activities, you will make friends - hint ( just don't complain about your worries to them, once in a blue moon is ok, but not all the time). If you feel you need to complain about something, have a good cry instead, have a laughing session or sing, it will lift your spirits.

Here is an exercise I would recommend doing every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep.

First, be grateful - state everything that you are grateful for, everyone that you are grateful for.

Second, Forgive - forgive everyone and everything that has ever made you mad, feel like crap, anything that made you not feel so nice. Really feel that you are forgiving them and believe it.

Third, Love - State what you love about yourself, about your life, what you love about what's happening at the moment.

Do this everyday and you will feel so much better. Be your own companion and watch as people flock to you because you look so happy, you seem so alive and are full of love.

People like that and want that and you can do it! I know you can! And even though I don't know you, know that I LOVE YOU and so does the rest of the world, it's just a matter of you recognizing the beauty in everything.

Be in Peace

You'd still have that lonely feeling if you went back. You're seeking/craving a new life...not your old one.

It is perfectly normal to feel this way after all that you have been through but I can assure you that it is not the end. You dont have to be lonely and sad forever. There is hope. There is a God in who you should seek and develop a relationship with. The relationship we have with God is the most important one and fulfilling one you will ever have in your whole life. He will not only comfort you and bring you peace and joy in times of need but he will renew and restore you. You have already wasted so many years being unhappy dont go on this way. It is time for a change. Seek God, he is already there waiting for you. Once you do this he will bring you to people that will care for you and give you companions and friendships with people you never knew before and wouldnt know otherwise. I know it sounds ridiculous but I have been through a lot myself and have been so down and lonely in my life. I am only 21 but I am a single mother of 2 young kids and have no family or friends to help me. The people closest to me are dead and sometimes I wonder how I can live. I am only surviving by the grace of God, and he is good. Trust me I would not tell you about God if I have not experienced it for myself. People that try to disprove God are the ones that have never felt his overwhelming amazing presence and sadly never will as long as they are so stubborn and prideful.
Ask God to come into your heart and renew you ask him to send you the holy spirit to comfort and to guide you. Tell him of all your sorrow and pain then give it all to him to heal and restore. Ask him and you shall receive. Then thank him for his mercy and love and go on everyday of your life clinging to him and seeing everything in a different light.
This does take time I know but if you look for him you will find him, just dont give up. Maybe look for a church in your area so you can see what the family of God is about. Not all churches are truly good and about God but usually the small, close knit ones are. I go to a very small one and love every person there. They accepted me when I felt like the worst person to ever walk the earth and showed me a love I have never known, more importantly they guided me in building a relationship with God in who I trust with everything. He has brought me out of the depths of hell and with him anything is possible.
My heart goes out to you and you will be in my prayers.
-VMA