Is it normal to feel this distressed about the future for your r/s?

3 Comments

This is in continuation to my previous post, about my boyfriend who has been my friend for 6 years, and we've been together for almost 5 months now.

in 6+ months he would be leaving overseas, where the time difference is about 8 hours to finish his university. He's 22 and i'm 21. His total length of course is 4 years but he tells me he intends to stay there longer after the 4 years to gain experience for his degree, which i completely understand.

I am lost as to what to do. I think I can handle a long distance relationship but i do not know whether it is the right choice. His family feels that I could be holding him back, which i can understand since i would be in a different continent and a different stage of life from him.

I intend to stay and settle down here in the next 10 years, that's for sure. I do see a future with him but the line is getting very blurry now and I'm frustrated. I don't know what to do. It's getting to the point that I rather end things on a good note because the future is so uncertain with us and it scares me. But I feel that we are worth it. But I don't know whether i am making a wrong choice.

Additional comments would be appreciated!

Don't take up a long distance relationship, it never works out 2
Make a decision to mutually end things before he leaves for overseas 7
Break up with him now before he leaves, it's easier 1
Set a deadline for him to make a choice 4
Stay together and work things out 13
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Comments ( 3 )
  • Jeaneathean
    11 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear of your situation. At the risk of sounding like a stupid old hippie, love is the most important thing in the world, and if it's meant to be between you two, then it will be. It won't be easy, and you may have/need to work at it, but it certainly could be worth it.

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  • iintolovethissite
    11 years ago

    We can't make this decision for you this is something you both truly need to talk about and be honest about what you want and the reality of the situation good luck

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    11 years ago

    Are you out of your mind!? This guy is going away for 4 YEARS! Unless you're 100% certain you want to marry this guy and be with him for the rest of your life, break up now. Why waste your time and effort trying keeping up a relationship with someone half way around the world, who's going to be there for 4 years, and who I can only assume you will be away from each other for most of the year? Then after 4 years he's going to stay there longer and you're going to stay where you are and settle down. This is a logical decision so be logical about it. Think about the future and the amount of time you'd have to invest into it. Whilst you may be in love and whatnot, you have to think about your future and how different and far apart your lives are going to be.

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